Should I just leave??
I feel I had enough with my family. I am 49y old, been married for 12year. I just cannot stand living with my 19y SS. I reached the stage that I don't want to look at him, I cannot listen to his voice and trying hard ignoring his existence.
I have tried hard to teach him stuff and being in son-father relationship but I totally failed.
He left school when he reached 17. He could not hold a job cause he is extremely lazy and rude. He sits on his games at least 16hrs a day and expecting his mom and me to cook, wash his cloth, pickup his plates and drive him whenever he wishes to go out.
I believe my relationship with my wife suffered a lot because of him. Obviously, we have different views about raising kids. Of course, I am no expert as I never had kids before, but I believe there are no tolerance for aggression, lying, rudeness and disrespect.
Cause I stopped driving him, he calls his grand father to pick him up. He does not answer the door when his grand father comes, when he welcome him with "Why did you come now, I told you to come 1:30", then he leave him waiting for an hr while his responding to Facebook, fixing his hair etc. It is worth mentioning that where he is going is 20min walking and the bus stop is 2min walking from our place.
My wife thinks I am too strict and she believes "as most mom would" that he will be okay with time, and this is natural teen age attitude. Same time, she ignores the fact that my existence saves her from his violence. One day, I came back from overseas finding my wife with a black eye and both calmed it was an accident.
I used to love kids, I like fun, outgoing and being a child myself, but after what I have seen, I refused planning for another kid cause the example I have seen is shocking and rather disgusting.
Although, I understand my wife view "keep on trying attitude", I cannot live like this as I cannot see him moving out in near (or far) future.
Just keep on thinking, life is too short for this black drama.
Does anyone feel the same or can offer an advice?
If you have to come here and
If you have to come here and ask "should I just leave", I'm going to respond with 'you already know the answer to that question'.
"As most mom would" left my mouth hanging open. Obviously your wife and SS have you under the impression the functioning of your household are perfectly normal. You're talking about an abusive, disrespectful man child here. One who snaps his fingers and believes people should kiss his behind. One who if he does not get his own way 'blackens' eyes. No, there's nothing 'normal' in your household. No, 'most mom's would' not think the little darling will be ok in time.
It's long past time for you to take control of your own life and future. Is this how you intend to spend the next five years? If you don't do something for yourself, the next five years of exactly the same home environment is what your future holds. Nothings going to change on your wife or SS's part.
So the ball is in your court. What do you think should be your next step in your dysfunctional home. Perhaps you need to find an apartment for the summer to review your options and put space between you and the homefront.
I would like to thank
I would like to thank everybody who spent time reading and responding to my post I truly appreciate your valuable opinions.
You guys are absolutely right, nothing gonna change with time cause the circumstances which allowed it still exist.
I already gave up convincing my wife that her passive attitude is harmful. Actually, the more I discuss it with her, the more passive she becomes towards SS attitude.
Guess its time to move on. Life is too short.