I've posted in the past, maybe a couple years ago. But this October made 2 years my husband and I have been separated. Married 6 years. Both were single parents with primary custody of our kids, married when our kids were 7 and 8. Seemed like a perfect situation. Yet I later found out that a man and a daughter versus a mother and son are two totally separate situations. Parenting differences, frustrations, hurt and pride eventually left us battered, a few dumb decisions made when things were really bad between us, led to a decision to separate and "work on things", as the home situation was beyond tense. My step daughter was unhappy, our relationship not the best. No drama, no blow ups ever, just no real closeness and what seemed to be a tug of war for my husbands attention. It didnt take me long to realize I was indeed 2nd and always would be.

On one side i apparently wasnt doing enough as a step mother, although i was doing the best i knew how, losing my own birth mother when i was 4. Not to mention my stepdaughter's bio mom is alive and well and she goes with her on weekends, although far from consistent. I was learning a lot myself being a step mother. Then when i tried to do things he would undermine me. I learned that my expectations for my husband were very different than his were for me, in relation to our kids.

Fast forward 2 years later, we are still separated, living literally around the corner from one another, each in our own places with our kids. Yet, we are still married, still spend time together as husband and wife, attend church together, just celebrated our anniversary and so on. Yes, initally the separation was needed; there was less stress and we got along much better with the tension gone. Problem is, this was good AT FIRST, as it allowed us to realize we loved one another and wanted our marriage to work; divorce wasn't what either of us wanted. But once we decided we wanted the marriage to work we should've come back together as a family. Never stayed separated this long. Yet here we are still separated.

My husband seems happy with things as they are but for me its an empty feeling. Spend time with my hubby, then go home to my place?? It gets old and we are both living day to day without one another. My husband agrees its not an ideal situation for a married couple, but we are "building things back" and this is where we are now. I just can't do it anymore and I'm thinking of filing. I know he loves me and isn't out with anyone else. But no husband wants and chooses to be separatd from his wife unless he just isnt in love. Thats all i can come uo with now. Yet I'm wife to any and everyone we know and he has no problem introducing me as such and doing things as husband and wife. What this is about is his daughter. I don't know if I even want to ever come back together as a family, not now. Starting to feel resentful. What do I need a husband for? I manuever daily on my own, take care of my son, work full time and come home to MY place. This is no marriage.