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Reality Check

utstepdad's picture

I need a reality check on an incident that happened today. My stepdaughter that is 20yrs old was being picked up by her father to go sledding with him, his wife and their multitude of children. She asked our youngest son to use his sled. He said ok. When her father got here he needed another sled and had her ask to borrow another sled for one of his kids. The only other sled we have is my sons favorite sled that he has had for years and cost a good amount to purchase. I said no and quickly behind me he said no. My wife got angry and acted like we were being selfish. This has caused an argument between my wife and I.
I don't feel like should have to supply those kids with my son's property. Considering he has barely even provided for his own children. I don't understand why my wife is so upset about this. Did I act wrongly?

oldone's picture

Your wife is wrong. period.

No kid should have to share his belongings (especially a prized possession) with random strangers. Those kids are nothing to him.

Over_that_tude's picture

I agree with oldone. Your wife is wrong. Your son should not have had to lend his sled to the SD'd Biodad simply because Biodad didn't plan ahead and make sure his kids had sleds.

I don't think she would have felt the same way had she been asked to lend the biodad's wife her car since they were going on a trip and wife's car was out of gas.

They were only thinking of themselves = selfish!

Orange County Ca's picture

No harm in asking and no offence should be taken when the answer is no.

I'm surprised your wife is so concerned about her ex's children who by the way will live having to share one sled, learning co-operation and teamwork.

utstepdad's picture

Thank you so very much for validating my reaction. My problem now is with the wife. I can't for the life of me understand why she took the stance she did.
Her ex has been the biggest A-hole since day one. He didn't feel he needed to pay child support because I have a good job and take care of them. He has manipulated them into being very disrespectful. All these thing I have dealt with and worked through.
I am at a total loss with what to do now.

oldone's picture

You don't have to do anything. Let her stew over it until she figures out she is wasting her time.

As a friend's mother used to say

"So she gets mad, she can get unmad".

my.kids.mom's picture

Some people just think that you should always give if you've got it... I will even go another step further and say that if you had said yes, and your son told you no, you should respect his wishes above your own. It is his sled. HE is the one who gets to say who uses it or not. I don't even make my kids share with each other. I do explain that if their sibling won't share, you need to negotiate. Your wife is wrong. Let her read these responses if you must Smile