Wow! Thank you so much to you all for responding. I just sat down with a cup of coffee to take a look at the forum not expecting to have any responses yet. I am so thankful to you for taking the time to give me so much help, advice and guidance. Thank you.

It's so early in the relationship that I feel a bit 'fatal attraction' in considering years down the line. But these children are here, they're not going anywhere and I have to consider them and me. I feel like I am wearing two hats. I'm cautiously optimistic about this man, I'm enjoying my time with him and want to spend more time getting to know him. I've been dating for over two years now and have gotten a feel for what I want and need from a man. He's doing well so far. I'm attracted to him. We have shared interests and hobbies, similar family backgrounds, shared values, sense of humor. He's not perfect, but neither am I. He is a kind, caring person. His situation isn't ideal for him or for me but I would like to see if we could be happy together.

I've had conflicting advice on whether to stay and see or to run and hide. I'm inclined to stay and see. I do see these children as a blessing. I'm not wanting to have children in my life myself but it would be nice to be partly involved. I can see myself enjoying that. Although if things progress then I will maintain my own home. If he did end up having his children full time that would be okay but I don't have any desire to be an equal parent and be living in the home.

I have considered finances. I'm okay with the things we can do being limited because he pays child support. I never got any so my thoughts on that are I glad someone is. I have a job and a house and am doing okay financially. I have no desire to mingle assets or income. He has a decent income. He has a career that suffered through the recession. He moved here because he was out of work, couldn't find employment and lost his place to live. He worked seasonal and minimum wage jobs but ultimately couldn't support himself or his kids on that. The industry he works in is picking up now though and opportunities are likely to be opening up back where he was living. He may move states in the future and be near his kids again. I would be willing to move. I have no ties here and I've moved in the past. I know I can do that part.

I'm a natural mediator and it's difficult for me not to step into that role. I will be extra careful about that now. He doesn't continually bad mouth her. He mentioned something she had said and I saw a different perspective. She did mess him around. He was never who she really wanted. She is with that person now. She married her true love and the father of her first child. But, my son's father did worse and I don't hate him. Ultimately she is their mother, he chose her, he lay down and made babies with her and he is now stuck with her forever.

This is all new to him too though. He's away from his children. They have a father in the home. When he visits he picks up his two oldest and they stay in a hotel. The mother of the youngest comes over with the baby. I have no reason to believe they are stilll getting together but he and I haven't made a commitment to each other yet either. The way I see it that's about him as a man. If he's a cheater he will cheat regardless. She isn't who I should be watching.

He's there this weekend. I'm taking the opportunity to get a few things straight in my head. He is coming straight here on his way home and spending Sunday night with me. We live two hours apart and I thought it was nice of him to ask if he could come here. It's an extra couple of hours drive for him. I thought it was considerate of him to still make time to see me. He's also quite smitten with me. Lol.

I'm off now to order the Stepmonster book. Thank you in advance for your replies.