Your BD lives there full time AND she is the oldest. She gets the bigger room. It really won't matter to a 3 year old, especially if the rooms only vary slightly.

As far as being an evil SM, if both were your bios, would you give the bigger room to the oldest or the 3 year old?

I think the child who lives there full time should get the bigger room.

When me and my DH bought our first house together my teenage son got the smaller room because he was only there 50% of the time. Sure I would of liked my son to have the bigger room but it made more sense for my older stepson to have because he was there full time. 

The second house we bought together my son had the bigger room in the basement and the only reason for that was because skid said he was moving out  and not moving into the new place. Skid changed his mind just as we moved into the new house but by that time the basement bedroom was already promised to my son and I wasn’t going back on it. 

Your SD technically will have more square footage anyways, she has not one but 2 rooms, at different houses mind you. I think she should get the smaller of the 2. 

When we moved into our new house, we had enough bedrooms that each kid gets their own room.  We made it very simple.  The oldest (my BS12) gets to pick first, even though he is only here 50% of the time.  Then SD11 got to pick.  And, then BD7 (also 50%).  The funny thing is that my BS12 picked the smallest room, claiming that he liked the smaller room because it was cozier.  My SD11 picked the second smallest room, which is about twice the size of BS12's room because she liked that it had two windows.  And my BD7 got the biggest room, which worked out because it is close to me.  I never understand the fights over room size.  Unless there is a massive difference in size, I think too much energy is spent arguing which kid is going to get the extra few square feet.  DH and I never argued about it.  We both agreed that the oldest kid gets first choice.

Just depends on the home and the situation. In our current home, the oldest (skid) has the smallest room, but has their own bathroom. The larger rooms are closer to our room and the toddlers have those and share a bathroom. In our new home, skid will have the largest room, a shared, but semi-private, bathroom, but it is the furthest from our room. We prefer to have the youngest kids closest to us. 

First of all, this topic makes me so happy to be reminded my SKs are grown (22 and 24) and we haven't had to deal with rooms for them in our last TWO houses! lol.

However, DH and I DO have 2 bio DSs, who were 15 and 8 when we moved in our current house. We decided to give DS8 the BIGGER room, which included a giant walk-in closet that doubles as a play room, because we reasoned DS8 would use it for that. On the other hand, we thought DS15 could spend time with his teenage friends hanging out in the basement rather than his room anyway. In our last house which we built brand new, we didn't have a basement, so we gave the oldest DS his own upstairs "suite" that included a media room to hang out in off his bedroom, while our younger DS had a smaller bedroom. I think it depends on each child's needs and the situation.

One thing I HATE about step situations is if it appears the SK got the short end of the stick for any reason, some people think you're being biased against them in favor of your bios when parents make decisions between 2 bios all the time that favors one over another. I think you just do what's best for the situation. And in this situation, because the older SD is there 50% of the time, I'd give her the larger room. She's 5 years older than your BD, so by the time your BD is a teenager, SD will be ready to move on to college or "life," and BD can get that larger room and SD can stay in the smaller room when she comes home for visits.

Full time vs. part time is definitely a legitimate reason to assign one child a larger room.  Unless there's a huge size disparity, chances are good the 8 year old SD won't even notice.  And if she's like my SO's kids (who are on a 5/5/2/2 schedule), she has half her clothes at her mother's house and therefore doesn't need as much closet space as a child who is in your house full time.  I'm sure she's more concerned with what color you paint her walls.  There are many ways you can make her room appealing so that she won't care that it's the smaller of the two even if she notices.  If the room is significantly smaller, you could make it "live" larger by lofting her bed (something that is more appropriate for an 8 year old than a 3 year old). 

In discussing it with your DH, you probably don't even have to mention size.  If you think DH will think SD is getting shortchanged because the room is smaller, think about the two rooms and I'm sure you can come up with a reason (other than size and full time vs. part time) why the smaller one is more appropriate for SD and the larger one is better suited for DD.  Consider number of windows, proximity to the bath, proximity to your bedroom, ease of fitting new or existing furniture, etc.  There's got to be something that would make the smaller room appealing for SD.
 

For two reasons- SD will have two rooms in which to keep all of her things, your BD will have one.

And, as a mom I've noticed that small children have much bigger toys. Your BD will have all kinds of big plastic things, while the kids SD's age play with much smaller things and electronics which don't take up much room. 

Unless you have a separate play room, it makes sense for the smaller kid to have the bigger space.

We moved in December.  We chose which rooms kids would go in without their input, to be honest.  In fact, SD and SS had no idea we were moving until their mother told them when we sent her the legal notice of our move.

That said, we picked (bio)DD's room first.  It isn't the largest, but it has an ensuite bathroom.  She's 12 and FT.  We picked SD second.  Her room is the largest, but the bathroom is accross the hall.  SS8 got the last bedroom, which is also the smallest.

FT and PT kids don't get the same benefits.

The one with the most stuff gets the bigger room.  Get the older one a loft style bed and she will have more room for her stuff and she might think its really cool and you can trick her into the smaller room.  

If it's only a slightly larger room, don't sweat it. You can always justify the decision by saying the rooms are nearly identical, folks, let's keep this in perspective!

But I know kids -- they count every inch.

I think it makes sense for the BD to have the larger room, but it could go either way with good reason -- maybe SD has the smaller room at her mom's house too because she's only there part-time. That would be unfair, but hey, I shared a tiny room with my sister until I was 16!!!

I think you make the decision on your own, don't even discuss it with your husband -- just start talking about BD's room and SD's room so he knows where you're thinking of putting everyone. If he questions it, tell him your reasoning that one is living there full time and will be in the room for more years because she's younger. Fall back on the fact that there's little difference in size and it shouldn't be a big deal because they're both getting nice new rooms.

If the bigger room is further from your bedroom, make full-time privacy part of your defense of your decision; if the smaller one is further from your bedroom, make noise part of your defense -- soon SD will be talking on her phone, playing videogames or whatever. Think about how you can sell either room to your husband in case he takes issue with your decision.

You can soften the "blow" for SD by letting her choose the color of her room (from colors you've already approved -- your three-year-old won't get a choice), maybe promise her a new comforter or something. Get her excited about the prospect of a new room and decorating it with you and downplay the size. You needn't even tell her which she will have unless she asks (assume there will be no fuss and hope for the best!) If there's a fuss, tell her she's lucky because she has TWO bedrooms that she gets to decorate and are her own. When all else fails, tell her the rooms are nearly equal in size and you thought she'd like the privacy of the smaller room (if it's further from your bedroom).

Remember, you are the parents. The only one you really have to worry about is your husband. But this is a good time for you to be the woman of the house, make this executive decision on your own and then defend it anyway you must. And with any luck, no one will question you!

The SDs got to pick out of three rooms, SD14 (then 11) picked first, the biggest room.  Younger SD then go to pick out of the two smaller rooms.  The unclaimed room is an office. 

At the end of this summer, when SD14 will then be with us (not holding my breath) EOWE, I'm going to re-paint the bigger room the same color as SD12s, and then let SD12 take it as she'll still be with us 50/50.  She's there more often, she gets bigger room and frankly, she needs the space as she has friends come over and has,usually, a ton of projects going on.  SD14 just doesn't need it and as an infrequent visitor, double that.

I think it's reasonable to give the BD the bigger room since she's there more often.

But try to make the room special for the SD. Tell her that you know the room is smaller, but you want to make it special for her, so go out of your way to decorate it with her or get her something different for her room. 

Considering the child is with you 50/50 she will have the same amount of stuff as if she were there full time. If it’s really minor then I’d give the slightly bigger room to the older child. A child who’s only with you every other weekend has a whole lot less than a 50/50 or full time child and there for needs less space to keep things.

A 5 year difference in age? I'd expect the older one gets the bigger room - and will sleep on the couch when company comes for the first 5 years. Your three year old still-almost-toddler doesn't rate the larger room till the SD moves out (presumably in 10 years, when BD will be 13). At that point, I'd tell SD that as a college student, she gets the smaller room since she'll only be there for summer, etc.

That's my take.

Of course, I can see the whole "time share" deal, where one kid is there all the time and the other is there only part time (for now), but the ages of these kids is a big factor. Once BioDaughter gets to be 13, she'll feel great to "move up" - and SD will realize the downsize is practical (and might spur her to ensure she's thinking of the future OUTSIDE that house!).

Full time resident kids take precidence over part timers when it comes to rooms.  Make the decision on logic, reason and the best use of space rather than on some age or seniority  based illogical perspective.

I'm about to face this, too! We are about to buy a house with almost all MY money. We will be paying back my ex together on the remainder. My kid is with me 4 days in 7 and his are with us EOW - of course BM is a nutjob, so there may come a point when they want to move in with us to get away from her. All the houses we are looking at have a big disparity in room size. We are planning to split a loft conversion - so that it's partly BS's room (very small) and partly "kid living room" so that basically most of the time he'll have a giant room. That then leaves two rooms on the main floor between my partner's two kids - one room will be twice the size of the other (no matter what house we go with - in the neighbourhood we're looking at most are the same). We are planning to put in a divider in the larger room for our clothes storage so that each of the kids have very small bedrooms. When we looked at one house my partner's son - who is the youngest  of all 3 - well, I could see his face dropping because he knew as the youngest he'd get the smallest room. He doesn't yet know that his older brother will have to share his room with MY shoes We looked at a house today where the smallest room has an AMAZING view, he might be happy with that. 

Look if the rooms are pretty similar - you just say you give more room to the kid who uses the room more. If there's an issue - then spend some extra money on SD by adding some 'features' in the room that she'll like, even if it's just painting it whatever horrible colour she wants - the 3yr old definitely won't give a stuff about that.  

I have a SS (4) and my husband and I have a daughter (2) and a son on the way together. We agreed that our daughter should have the biggest room with the biggest closet as she is the oldest child that lives with us full time. I was nervous about bringing it up to my husband as well, but he surprisingly agreed with me without hesitation.