Hi all... this is my first post and I don't really know where to put it. My BF and I have lived together for almost two years (and dated two years before that). I have four children (S17, D15, D11, D8), he has two (SD12, SS10). He has his kids 100% of the time (XW has been gone for 4 years, no contact or CS) and I have my kids about 95% of the time, plus my XH quit his job so he wouldn't have to pay CS.

I absolutely hate blending families. I HATE it. SD isn't so bad - even though she can be bossy, she does try to get along and can be sweet - but SS, while he acts nice and loving and cute, is sneaky and manipulative and will lie to your face without any qualms. On top of that, I've been supporting all of us ever since they've moved in (BF is self-employed and makes almost nothing) and I deeply I resent carrying it all and it was NOT our agreement before we moved in together. I'm furious at XH, I'm furious at BF... financial worries on top of trying to blend families is sending me right over the edge! I'm sure I could do one or the other (blend families or support everyone) but trying to do both is so hard and draining. I would tell him to leave but I just can't put two kids out on the street. He has no money and I mean NO money. No assets. Nada.

All the stress has affected how I feel about him. I know he has good points, he's really a good man in some ways (works around the house, takes care of kids and does pretty well at not playing favorites, is devoted to me), but he's draining me dry and I resent him. I think my resentment is also bleeding over into how I feel about his kids - I just don't want to be bothered with them, no matter how good or bad they're acting. My kids really rely on him because their own father is so useless and pretty much abandoned them and he is always there, so I feel trapped by that... it's just a mess.

I had friends tell me to not move in together, that blending families was one of the hardest things to do... I sure wish I would have listened. :?

Thanks for listening... I'm so glad I found this place. I was feeling horrible about hating this situation and it's so good to see I'm not alone.