need help/advice
Okay I've been lurking here for a bit and decided to post I'm having a lot of trouble.
My bf and I have lived together for a year now. I have two boys ages 6 and 3. Their dad is not in the pic but they do no call my bf dad, only his name. My bf has 5 girls 3 of which we have started custody. The main two I have issues with are from the same POS mother. They are H age 11 and
L age 8. They seem to know way too much for their age and I've had a lot of problems with them talking about inappropriate things they hear at their mothers house. L has been having number 2 accidents in her pants off and on for the past 18 mo. The doc said it could be a number of things, laziness, no warning etc. Well this past week I've been noticing more and more she is masturbating A LOT. And not in private, on the couch under a blanket, in her room with her door open etc. We've also had a lot of behavior problems from her. Doesnt listen, will constantly blame others or flat out lie. She stole 50$ out of my bfs wallet a few weeks ago and she was grounded here but not even a slsp on the wrist at her moms. I'm to the point I'm trying to salvage my relationship with the man I love. I love his kids and H (11) is notorious for telling my bf she loves me more than her mom and repeatedly tells her dad she doesn't want to stay over there.
They speak of pretty advanced sexual things that I certainly didn't know at that age. I am concerned that there might be sexual abuse happening by their mothers bf or someone over there. We have a safe and structured environment here and it's always total chaos over there. Never on time to school, doesn't make them bathe for DAYS etc.
I feel so lost idk what to do. Any advice? We have an appt on Mon for a psychologist. They think L has oppositional defiant disorder??
The accidents and the
The accidents and the masturbating sounds really suspicious. She might have been sexually abused. Please get a professional to assess the situation.
(hugs)
For L: Did anyone check her
For L: Did anyone check her for pinworms? Or yeast/other vaginal infections that could be causing itching? These could be an issue, especially if her home environment is dirty.
H: Of more concern is a child who is saying she doesn't want to be at her mother's home. There may be a good reason. If you can, try to ask her why she doesn't want to be there. She may also be able to help you understand what's going on with her sister.
Yes she's been checked out
Yes she's been checked out I'm actually the one who takes them to th doctor because mom is too lazy and dad works 40+ hour work weeks. H says she doesn't like being over there because her mom talks about embarrassing things (like sex) or she sits on her phone and doesn't do anything with them. Bf has had tons of talks with the mom and she has slowly gotten better but not enough.
They also checked their
They also checked their "areas" no penetration but I know there's other ways to abuse that's what scares me