My stepson
I have two sons 6 and 16 and a stepson who's 10 (as well as a 5 year old stepdaughter. (she gets along well with everyone). However my ten year old stepson never warmed up to me, he seemd kind of scared,of me, so I try to be sensitive to his needs and kind, I don't try to discipline him. He seems sad and withdrawn after his mothers divorce. My eldest son has tried really hard to befriend him. He have him his room, tries to get him to laugh or play video games , sports etc. but my step son yells at him that he's not his real brother. The only time he was semi-thankful was when my son protected him from a bully. My son stopped trying and gave him space, but for some reason after 6 months he started trying really hard to befriend his stepbrother again and is still trying.
It's been well over a year and me stepson is only close to his biological mom and sister.
Can I do anything to make him happier and more comfortable. His school therapist says he is not depressed and he gets good grades, but he seems pretty sad to me, always holed up in his room.
Any advice would be appreciated. Why do you think my son I trying so hard to bong oth his younger sb?
Tom
Whether SKIDS make a good
Whether SKIDS make a good relationship with their step parents, depends on the relationship they have with their bio parents and the attitude of the bio parents towards you. If this boy's bio dad is anti you - nothing you or your bio son do or say is going to make the slightest bit of difference to this lad - if he does not have his bio parent's implicit "permission" to like you, he is not going to.
If it is the case that his bio dad is against you - I advise you to let the boy be - don't press him to form a relationship with you or your son - just be neutral and behave kindly towards him. This is about the best you can do for now - when he is older he will appreciate that you did this.
I totally agree with
I totally agree with Kes...don't press this SS to have a relationship with you or your son. Back off and don't try so hard. Let him come to you if he wants a relationship. He will eventually see that you are kind to his mother and want to be around you. The more you try to make him like you the more control you give him. He is only ten...he will come around.
I haven't pressed anyone to
I haven't pressed anyone to do anything. I try very hard to be kind and neutral. I have no idea why my son tries so hard. I have tried to tell him not to try so hard, he listens, for a month, then he says "I'm sure I can win him over now, I know I'm close". And I'm like " no you're not!"
It's sad, but I have to agree with you. It's just that my six year old bio son adores his older brother, who's too busy trying to do the impossible to have time for him.
Maybe some counseling for SS
Maybe some counseling for SS ? Kids surpress things differently. I think what they said is right, stop trying so hard and let him come to you guys, but I think counseling wouldn't hurt and it might help break that cold mold.