my stepdaughter is ruining my relationship and life HELP
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I have a 10yr old stepdaughter. She is such a hand a full. She was living with her father and has came to live with me and her mother since september and since then my life has been hell. She has called me everyname in the book from stupid to asshole. Shes even hit me and pinched me till i bleed. She tells me she hates me and she wishes I was dead. The only time she is nice to me is when i am buying here things. My wife will tell her not to disrespect me but will never punish her. My SD will still continue. This is seriously ruining my relationship. Me and my wife argue everyday about it. I dont know what else to do. Can someone help me?
Agreed! I'm sorry that your
Agreed! I'm sorry that your SD is treating you poorly, but she is only doing so because she is ALLOWED to...
by your WIFE.
Step back and think about this. Your wife, your partner, is letting her child disrespect you and treat you badly and even physically assault you!
This child has no boundaries because she has not been taught any. Your WIFE is the teacher. Your WIFE is the one who has failed you. And your SD as well.
You need to have a serious heart-to-heart with her. Ask her, "Would she let her daughter treat a STRANGER or her TEACHER with this kind of disrespect?"
If the answer is "no," then why is it ok for her to treat YOU, her HUSBAND like this??
Sounds like she is in need of serious parenting lessons. Or a visit from "Supernanny"
I don't mean to sound glib at all- this is serious- the child needs help in regulating her behavior!
I have almost the exact same
I have almost the exact same issues! When my husband and I first got married I had an extremely good bond with both my stepchildren and everything was more than perfect for almost 5 years. However for the past 3 years my SD has gradually become worse and worse and engaging in the same mean, nasty, manipulative, bullcrap as you are being put through. And, like you, my husband will not "step up" and defend me or demand that she stop. It's horrible!
It constantly causes major fights between my husband and I, who without her around get along fantastically. She is rude, disrespectful, cold hearted, and lies ALL the time. Because I am the only one who actually "parents" her she now hates me with a passion. Because I am the only one who is observant enough to catch the lies and call her out on them she can't stand me. Because I am the only one who expects better of her and demands that she stop treating me like crap she thinks I am a witch. Because I am the only one who sees the horrible things she's starting to engage in with her friends and tells her she needs to make better decisions and be more responsible if she doesn't want to end up in jail she thinks I am a b__ch (and tells me so).
I have struggled many times with the thought of my only choice being to leave my husband because of her and that's not what I want (nor does he want to lose me). Unfortunately I am at a point where leaving him may be the only wake up call he'll catch on to because talking about it, crying about it, complaining about it, and being depressed 90% of my time does not seem to be sinking in to him.
My stepdaughter KNOWS what she's doing and knows exactly how to pit my husband and I against each other. Her hope is obviously to get us to argue enough that I will either leave or he will ask me to leave. My husband can't see this (or refuses to see it) and it's making my life absolutely miserable.
I've even gotten to the point that just the sound of her name makes me cringe and the sight of her (with her 3 times too small slutty clothes when she's way over-weight to begin with, her smug little evil grins when she outright lies about something and knows daddy will never catch her in it, and her total disrespect for me) makes me literally nauseous.