My husband and I met after divorces in our hometown. I chose to move back to the state where my children were because it was not going well and they needed me there. He chose to move there (12 hours away) leaving behind his 2 boys whom the mom had full custody and after 2 total years of dating we married. For the last 8 years we have had my 2 children every other week and because of difficulties with his 2 boys' mom and finances/work schedules/unforeseen circumstances he ultimately only saw his 2 boys 1-2 times a year with one visit longer in the summer. His 2 boys had issues with his divorce for a long time because of their mother per psychiatrist report and which I knew and my husband favors the youngest so long story short it was always a bit stressful when they came to visit but we made it and I tried letting them have time with their dad etc. 

The plan was always to get my daughter (my youngest) graduated and then we would move where we wanted. We discussed moving to our home state where his sons were but my husband never said "that's what I want to do". In fact he was happy over the years exploring parts of the coast, dreaming etc. Unfortunately I had to have foot surgery 1.5 years ago and it's been a life changing event for me. I can no longer work and am applying for social security. We have sold and lost everything. The pandemic hit and jobs have been hard to find but my husband applied everywhere across the u.s. He got a job not quite on the coast but 2 hours away it's hard work but he was excited for it and started 2 weeks before move date. 1 week from move date after I was upset with him he stated he wanted to move back to home state. We talked and he agreed to try it and I agreed to go ahead and move there. 3 days after move I knew something wasn't right and asked him if he was going to move back home. He said "I don't know". Now we've moved, we have negative money and he was so cold to me I just left and went to my parents. He says he wants to move there to go fishing with his nephew and go to his youngest (16) baseball games (because he feels guilty he went to all my sons and helped him) and be by his family. Moving by his family was discussed in December but I told him I really didn't want to and couldn't physically. He said nothing more til this move. Our other 3 kids are 18 and 2 almost 20 now. He states he always thought he would have a few years with his youngest and told me we still have 1 child to raise. My foot requires a lot of attention and care as I have nerve damage and just started walking and can't feel part of my foot after 3 surgeries. I'm concerned moving back home I would be in an extremely rural area, not have help even though I have some extended relatives I really don't talk to much and the weather is cold and icy 5-6 months a year, cloudy and depressing and I'd be stuck at home with no car while he works, roads are bad for travel a lot and financially he would make less and we'd have to live in his sisters basement down the road from his ex til we could afford to live on our own. I know that's a lot but I'm wanting straight up honest opinions on if I'm being irrational by putting my foot down and saying I refuse? He has been wonderful in helping me other than his temper tantrums at times and I do really love him I just don't know if I could physically and emotionally do it as I'm exhausted.