Middle SD Might NOT be DH's!!
So afew days ago, my DH's old friend came to visit down from Missouri. All was going great, until he confessed to my DH that he slept with DH's ex wife numerous times about 6 years ago when DH and her was married. DH was suprisingly not upset, pretty much confirming what he already suspected; ex wife was a H*E! His friend was a nice guy, respectful guy, funny situation. Alright... Well he left the next day and I got a little curious. This guy looks VERY firmilir to DH's MIDDLE CHILD who is 5!! He has blonde hair, blue eyes and so does she! Ex wife AND DH have very dark hair and very dark brown eyes. Where did the blonde hair and blue eyes come from??? Oldest SD and youngest SD have dark brown hair and dark brown eyes; middle child does not look anything LIKE mother, daddy or sisters, and is completly different in personality!!
So since DH knows me really well... he knew SOMETHING was on my mind. He asked, I told him my thoughts and said... why not get a paternity test?? He hit the celing mad! Yelling "WHY DOES IT MATTER, EVEN IF SHE ISNT MINE, IM STILL GOING TO SUPPORT HER, TAKE CARE OF HER BLAH BLAH BLAH!!"... Don't get my wrong, I expected him to say that, because he is a good father. HOWEVER, what would it hurt, to at least find out? Don't you think the middle child would like to know who her REAL father is? He is a very good guy, and if it was his, he WOULD no doubt step up and be there for her too! I never brought it up to kick her out of our lives, stop supporting her and being a father to her. But it would be nice to know, you know? Am I wrong?
I'm not sure this "friend" is
I'm not sure this "friend" is a really nice guy. Sleeping with his friend's wife numerous times?!?
That said, I've seen kids where both parents have brown hair and brown eyes and the kid is blond/blue. No mistaking, though. Kid looks just like dad.
Recessive genes and all.
Young and dumb I guess? It
Young and dumb I guess? It took alot for him to confess in the first place, didn't have to. But he did... DH was impressed that he came clean and was cool about it.
I think that it should be
I think that it should be done for future health reasons, genetic history. Every Person Deserves to know the TRUTH about their Bio-Parents.
It's been 5 years and this is
It's been 5 years and this is the first time someone has noticed the child looks like nobody in the family? That's odd. I would do the DNA test even if nothing would change. She needs to know down the road, and if not-so-nice-guy IS the dad, he should be in her life somewhat, even if as an uncle until she can be told the truth.
I agree with the test, what
I agree with the test, what happens if she is hurt and DH gives the hospital the wrong blood type? It actually happens more than you think.
this is hard I dont think i
this is hard I dont think i would do a test those two have bonded and have had the father daughter relationship.. i know you probably want to know and maybe because of support and bm... but this child would be sooo hurt and so would your husband that it is just not worth that type of pain for those two.. she knows the bm-knows what she did and that is her bad.. but dont hurt the two people who you love the most just to air out her dirty games... I would forget about that conversation all together it has to much at risk for the child!
This is the case with my OSD
This is the case with my OSD -- even down to the coloring. I think there is some genetic rule saying 2 brown eyed parents can't have a blue eyed child, too. She was told about the situation when she was late teens, by her mother. My DH was not planning to do it. The OSD was told by the BM behind DH's back, and then she and the BM then chased the other guy with a view to CS. When my DH found out it was what they were doing he had the same reaction as your DH but he said to OSD, she was welcome to do a DNA test if she wished -- it would not change his love for her though. I think once a man has decided to take this stance, it is not up to us to influence that. If you talk about it to anyone outside your marriage you are going to make bad enemies, in my view. I think if I were to talk about it publicly it would give my OSD and my other skids far more reason to hate me than anything else.
Just, FYI actually it's the
Just, FYI actually it's the opposite, blue eyed parents can't have a brown eyed child. (Before someone goes off half cocked
)
So my DH wanted to talk last
So my DH wanted to talk last night. Out of the blue, he said he DID want the test done. He said, he would still be there for middle daughter, and love her just as much as the other two but he wanted to know. He wanted to know, because if the middle daughter is NOT his, he knows he will still see her, and he also knows that the actual father would step up and do his part. So we ordered the at home test last night, it should be here by Monday.
I see what you are saying.
I see what you are saying. However, the way we see it is, she is 5 right now. She is sorta slow, has the mental abilities of a 3 year old. (will get into that later) We see how much different she is personality wise, from her two other sisters and how she dont look like them, her dad or her mother. Later down the road, when she is older it will become obvious to her. Its either we figure this out now while she is young and can still have a chance to bond with her real dad in the young years. OR, we don't tell her till she gets older and it completly backfires in our faces because she never got that chance to get to know her Dad; resenting us because we knew and kept it a secret. There is a total of 4 kids at BM house. 4th child is a product of an affair too, they was still married but seperated and she got pregnant and had a little boy. Even though he is their half younger brother, they see him as just their brother.