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Looking for advice from those that may have been through this... SKids and BDaughter not getting along

LaughingMommy's picture

Submitted by LaughingMommy on Sun, 07/05/2015 - 9:27pm

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Blended Family Issues

We're still in the adjustment stage... SO moved in a little over two months ago. BDaughter is with me FT, I am her only parent. BDaughter and SDaughter are 6 and 5 and SSon is 9. The girls get along most of the time but get in fights that lead to SDaughter saying things like "I never want to see her again" but she's usually over it by morning. The long and short of it is that his kids don't like my daughter much at all. SSon told BM that he hates my daughter and called her some awful names.

Has anyone dealt with anything like this? Is there hope for getting them to coexist? The connection between SO and I is unlike anything we think we would ever find again.. Any tips for us?

--Trying not to lose hope. Sad

Redredwine's picture

Submitted by Redredwine on Sun, 07/05/2015 - 10:22pm

Only two months? You are still in the adjustment stage. Most people's experience here seems to be that it takes a few years.

The kids are young so maybe it will be faster.

LaughingMommy's picture

Submitted by LaughingMommy on Mon, 07/06/2015 - 1:52am

He has his kids a couple nights during the week and EOWE. He is worried that SS will ultimately refuse to come here because of my BD. It is an interesting thought that this could be jealousy related. BD doesn't have a second home to go back and forth to. That could be tough for him.

MamaDuck's picture

Submitted by MamaDuck on Mon, 07/06/2015 - 2:19am

I have my boys FT, SD is here for 5 days every fortnight. It's been the opposite for us, they all used to get along very well, I guess SD was little and very cute, now she's 5, bossy and spoiled *sigh, so we've been dealing with issues between mine and his for the past year.

All I can share is; my kids seem happy and more inclined to be friendly towards SD if SO cracks down on her behaviors. SD is more inclined to be less annoying when I'm cracking down on my boys. House rules apply to ALL,it's not about making them be nice to each other, but rather that as their parents, we will not tolerate unkindness towards ANYONE, whether it's school peers, sport team mates, OR their soon to be step siblings. Also, like what you deal with, SD goes home and tells her mom if any of us are mean, SO will text and try to explain things. Tis hard work and a bit stressful eh.