I'm glad I got out of that crappy situation!
Did the blended family for approximately 3 years and it had to come to an end or I would have ended up a full fledged permanent basketcase!
I'm a bio mom to a 12 y/o boy and THEN there was the 5 y/o step brat (girl) and her looney bin father.
Wow, I used to come on this forum a literal nervous wreck itching to see what other SP were posting in similar situations. I envied the ones who broadcasted they got up the nerve and left.
In hindsight, it was honestly sheer misery.
Boy oh boy isn't it true when people refer to them as "daddy's little princess" who can't do no wrong with all the problems they end up causing. Little angels huh?
I don't think I could have packed those bags any quicker in the wee morning than when I did 6 weeks ago. It was bound to happen. Constant fighting, him, her, the mother, his mother,yada yada...all against my son & I over the MOST STUPID STUFF!
I knew it was gonna end and I believe it's all about what you can and can't deal with in these crapola relationships.
I will NEVER date another man with a daughter again - I'm sorry. That situation was the an absolute nightmare. Never experienced it before and now I know why women WARN AGAINST IT. There's a reason they say run as fast as you can & get the hell out!
Sounds like you did what was
Sounds like you did what was right & needed for you and your boy. I can relate to the "Daddy's Girl" thing, it is totally frustrating when the Dad doesn't want to accept the fact their girl is less than perfect and not 3 years old any longer. Luckily, my SD is totally disrespectful of my husband's mother (SD's grandmother) so at least I have some allies to agree with me that SD is a manipulator. Remember, mothers & their sons can be pretty creepy & unforgiving too. Good luck & hope you find a less stressed situation.
Well, thank you. I tried &
Well, thank you.
I tried & tried..I grew tired of the toxicity.
Women get worn down after a while of bathing, feeding, cleaning and nurturing their children to just be backstabbed.
It doesn't even sound right.
Congrats and good for u !!!!
Congrats and good for u !!!! You are a strong woman to leave a bad situation. Do what's best for you and your child. I'm recently out a a bad situation too. It was litterally making me depressed. I was losing it. Not being listen to and being called crazy doesn't help either. I was just trying to love my fiancé and kids and yet was a complete outsider in my family. It was aweful.
Yes, my EX called me every
Yes, my EX called me every name in the book!
Let's see, crazy, psycho, lunatic, etc...
I took care of his child when she was there. Got nothing other than misery in return for it.
My son suffered enough with all the fighting and everything else. I'm glad I know now what to never get involved with again.
I'm right there with ya. I
I'm right there with ya. I won't date men with younger kids anymore. I'm much much more happy on my own!
I applaud your confidence to
I applaud your confidence to hold them accountable and in knowing when investing in a flawed dynamic or in my preferred vernacular, a shallow and polluted gene pool, is no longer a performing investment.
The tendency to people in blended family marriages to separate abject parental failure on the part of the partner with the phrase "he/she is wonderful... except.....".
IMHO it is mutually exclusive for a wonderful person to be a useless waste of skin failure of a parent. Wonderful people raise wonderful kids. Less than wonderful people raise less than wonderful kids. Of course there are rare exceptions to this perspective but for me it is one of those things that is a very rare exception.
Congratulations on starting your new life adventure. You and your son are investing in your own lives by putting this man and his shallow and polluted gene pool in your rear view mirror.
Take care of you.
Good for you! You should be
Good for you! You should be so proud of yourself!
Takes a lot of strength and courage. I cannot stand my SD11. She irritates the hell out of me. It is true, these fathers turning a blind eye to their little mini wives, while us the real wives, have to put up with all the abuse and are not appreciated.
I envy you! I wish I had your balls!
You did the right thing and
You did the right thing and be so very glad that you only spent 3 years before you woke up to the sad reality.
Trust me, when a guilty father dotes on his daughter it does NOT get any better with time. The dysfunction never goes away and the drama will continue, even when the daughter has become an adult with her own husband and kids.
The sick, twisted and unnatural umbilical cord to Daddy will never be severed.
Even if a SM disengages, there can still be occasions of collateral drama which will seep over into your relationship.
The only way to "win" in a situation like this is to walk away. Congratulations on WINNING!
As I see it, the only way it
As I see it, the only way it can with with step kids is for the husband to make the wife a priority and partner. Anything less will ruin relationship and reduce the partnership with respect to the marriage. Only about 20% of the men out there are capable of doing this, I have read. Very sad statistic.
You did the right thing and I agree with you, do not go for anybody with kids, if at all possible. A 20% success rate sucks!
KUDOS!
KUDOS!
Bravo to you! I too had my
Bravo to you! I too had my spouse and SD move out. I couldn't take it anymore. I was losing my mind. I had to do everything and was blamed for everything. My spouse never put me first and the rule of the house became "don't upset" my daughter. A no-win situation. I feel better than ever and am getting my life back. No craziness in my home. Just peace and quiet. And I love it.
I know this is a really late
I know this is a really late reply, but cheers to YOU for getting them out!
I swear, if I could get all of us woman together someday to "celebrate" I totally would lol.
Both my son and my life are so much better now. Good riddance!
Good for you for finding the
Good for you for finding the courage to get out of that situation. I wish I had your strength. I am in my own crappy situation.
I am new to this forum, so here is a little background: I have been married for two years and his kids are with us full time, with the exception of a couple of hours at BM's place every other weekend, until she gets tired of them. They have no scheduled visitation with her. It's just whenever they or she feels like it. So our lives revolve around what step kids and BM want. They moved into my house. There is no break and I am completely miserable. I am seriously considering getting out, unless things improve, which I don't foresee happening. They are messy, eat everything in the house and are spoiled, entitled brats.
Their father gives them anything they want, won't discipline them and would get mad if I try to point out something they are doing that they shouldn't be doing. So I completely disengaged. The oldest is greedy and can only think of what we can buy him and the other is almost 12 and still sucks his thumb and talks in a baby voice. They are constantly in trouble at school and make bad grades. I have a daughter who is a kind, caring, quiet straight A student. She can't stand them either. She has a schedule and stays with her father every other weekend and sees him one evening during the week. I also receive child support. My step kids have no schedule, they decide where they want to go and when and my husband receives no child support, even though they live with us. Our lives revolve around what they want and what their crazy mother wants.
I am stressed out of my mind but hearing your story gives me hope. I am so envious of you! Maybe someday I will get the courage to leave this toxic situation.