DH and I have been married 5 years. I have DS13, DD12, SD10, SS8. My DH is NCP and his ex lives a different state, so the visitation is summer, Christmas, Thanksgiving and spring vacations.

The first few years, I worked so hard to bond with them and put this blended family together. I tried to love them as my bio kids. However, DH treats his kids and my kids totally differently, which I understand, since he sees them only couple times of year, and he feels guilty. In the past, I told him that “please consider my kids’ feeling”, but he denied he treated them differently. He is always lovey-dovey to SD10. SD10 is very manipulative and demanding and a super good kid in front of dad, but very mean to other kids. SD10 never leave her dad when she is visiting. SS10 is noisy but he is OK.

Well, so I feel resentful every visitation in the last one year or so.

Now, the summer vacation starts soon and we are supposed to have them (SD10 & SS8) for 10 weeks as usual (!!!) I am not sure how I can survive 10 weeks! I survived the spring break somehow, but it was only 2 weeks.
I tried to “disengage myself”, but it didn’t work. It drove me crazy! If I go to my room, they start screaming and break something (costy stuff, like a computer, too!). If I go out for a while, the house is a disaster. DH doesn’t care much. He tells his kids “Don’t do this”, but soon kisses & hugs and let them do same thing. But he scolds my kids and sends them room or grounds them or skips the allowance, even skids did all bad things (/sad).

We are very happy family when skids are not here. I love my DH a lot but I cannot stand skids at all anymore. I am depressed when they are here, and I cannot sleep at all. DH’s ex still loves him after 5 years they divorced, so she send txt and/or email every day (mostly about kids, but sometimes love note) , which I don’t like either. If I say something negative about skids, DH is upset and leave me. We have fought so many times and he left me once for his kids. I cannot stand skids and their lovey-dovey in front of my kids (they are a kind of “whatever” though). But I don’t want to lose him (dilemma). Also we have to pay for the summer camp. After paying CS, DH doesn’t have much left, so he pays his debt and some his bills and done. I am paying all food, mortgage, everything and the cost to fix the stuff skids broke.

Please somebody help and let me how to survive 10 weeks and keep our marriage!