In the last few days I have found and read two great books by Susan Forward, one called TOXIC PARENTS and the other called EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL. From everything I have read on this site it sounds like most of the DH, BF and FH could use these books. Already they have been invaluable to us because they discuss how people who are close to you are easily able to intimidate, manipulate and guilt you into doing what they want. According to the books, parents in divorce situations involving kids use these tactics VERY effectively.

I hope this isn't inappropriate to the board, but I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off me now that I can see just how some of the people in our life are trying to manipulate us. The books address how fear of losing the people we love pushes us to do things we don't want to do. The best thing is that there are actual lists of phrases you can use to help avoid the manipulation and arguments that arise. Maybe someone else has read these or would benefit from the information.

I figured it would be better to just make a whole post than reply to everyone