Getting worried DH might get full custody of SD
Currently DH has 50/50 (every other week). SD is 5 and is starting kindergarten this fall.
Quick back story, DH and BM were never married, SD was not planned, I call her an "oopsie." DH and I have been together since she was 1 year old (together 4 years, married 1 year).
BM is a complete piece of trash and I am not exaggerating. She's the stereotypical "baby mama"- uneducated, unemployed, 3 kids by 3 different men and never married (my DH is the only baby daddy not in jail), lives with third baby daddy's mom.. I think you get the picture.
Every day that SD comes back from her week with BM, there is some issue. 2 weeks in a row, she came back wearing a belly shirt- she's 5 years old. Today, she came back barefoot. I don't know what the deal is because we don't send her there in belly shirts with no shoes on- BM could at least send her back in what she was wearing when she left our place. She basically looks like an orphan every time we get her back.
In addition to her disheveled appearance, SD seems to forget EVERYTHING we have taught her when she goes to BM's because when she gets back, it's like we have to reteach her the rules every single time.
DH made a comment today about how he doesn't know what to do because he feels the issues at BM's place are getting worse and he doesn't see how this can continue with SD starting school this year. I am starting to really worry about DH getting full custody. He isn't trying to get full custody as of now, but if things continue to get worse and SD has problems at school, I'm sure he will. I know this would be best for SD but to be honest, I can barely tolerate having her here 50% of the time. I can't deal with 100%.
I'm sorry Christine. If he
I'm sorry Christine. If he gets full custody, you will get no peace. Ever. She's already all up your $hit as it is! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you. Has your DH even bothered asking you how you would feel about having her f.t.? It's so easy for these idiot husbands to want their kids living with them.....it's not their routine that gets screwed up! It's ours.
He actually has asked me how
He actually has asked me how I would feel about it if she wanted to live with us full time when she got older. I told him the honest truth. He knows I hate having SD here. I just wish BM would take care of her damn kid!!
My FDH started talking about
My FDH started talking about SD then 11 coming to live with us due to the fact that her mom couldn't make her go to school. I told him that I understood he'd need to do what he can for his kid but gave him a laundry list of conditions like he'd have to get her a nanny/tudor for after school, she had to stay with BM when he travelled, etc... And told him that even with those conditions, I may not be able to cope so I may need to leave.
See that's when I think we're
See that's when I think we're going to start having major issues, when SD starts school. I don't see how she can continue the week on, week off arrangement when every other week she will be living with a lazy piece of trash. Basically the way it is now, I am pretty much living for the time we have alone without SD. I dread her coming and can't wait for her to be gone. I know how it sounds, but that's how I honestly feel. If we had her full time, I would have no reason to stay.