Dread going home?
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My SD8 is with us 50/50 and this is her week with us. It has been shitty (as usual) since she walked in the door at 4:00pm on Sunday. I am at work and sitting here literally dreading going home today. The thought of her whiny little voice, yelling DAAAAADDDDDDYYYYYY repeatedly, the constant jumping and touching the walls, I just don't know if I can do it. My BD11 needs me to cook dinner, help with homework, spend time with her, yet all I want to do is go lock myself in my room because I don't want to be around SD8 or even SO because all he does is enable her and say dumb shit when he opens his mouth (ie, well she's only 8, kids will be kids, I'm doing the best I can with discipline but it won't happen overnight).
I feel ya! I used to dread
I feel ya! I used to dread going home when YSD lived with us. My kids were still in after school/day care so it made it easy for me to get home late. Sometimes I would take them to my parents house and have them eat dinner there since they needed to be in bed before DH and I ate. I began doing a lot of crock pot meals and going up to my room with my kids, too. Or I would sit outside with them depending on the weather. It sucks feeling like a prisoner in your own home. Your SD may be 8 but it will only get worse if you can't get the help you need with her!
I dread going home too. Only
I dread going home too. Only to hear dh not discipline his kid, allow him to be disrespectful, make smart ass remarks about me and my pregnancy, etc.
even this kids voice gets under my skin. He baby talks when he's asking dh for something he wants(he's 12!!!!!) then he'll talk in a deep voice when he's talking about other stuff, I honestly think he has a mental health issue but Dh won't even entertain the idea.
I luckily have a 2nd job (working from home) so I sign up for hours whenever I can.
I hate being home, I hate ss12.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!!
My SS8 does the baby talk
My SS8 does the baby talk thing, too, pretty much all the time. I have no idea why, but I think he wants to remain in perpetual toddlerhood the rest of his life. He still sleeps on a bed covered in stuffed animals (he has all the Care Bears and sleeps with them circled around his head), and yeah, he's the one who wears the plush dog costume every night and weekend he's with us.
But to hear him talk....ARRRGH. It scrapes my spine just to hear the way he speaks. Like a little two-year-old. It's DISGUSTING.
Are you kidding? I dread EOW
Are you kidding? I dread EOW when I we go to my MILs so my DH can spend time with SD13. She has been diagnosed with ADHA and when its my DH weekend she doesn't get her meds because my DH doesn't "believe" in ADHA.(she stays at my MIL, if you have read my blog you would know why) So I hear she yelling ( and im talking about her talking to someone right next to her but she's yelling everything), I get to tell my kids not to leave their tablets, DSI, money, games, anything really, lying around for her to steal. I have to be on high alert due to her history of molesting other children (she was 8 at the time she did this)(could be my paranoia but I rather know my children are safe)
So yes. I dread if that's even the right word for what I feel. dread.... loath.
I really think I could deal
I really think I could deal with it better if she just came EOW instead of the 50/50 arrangement. But SO (aka guilty daddy) isn't going to even consider giving up any time with his precious sweet angel. She just sucks all the happiness out of my house when she is there, well at least my happiness. It sucks because I want this brat out of my house but I still want SO. Can't have your cake and eat it too I guess.
I'm right there with you, OP.
I'm right there with you, OP. My only saving grace is that I know the skids will be safely tucked away at BM's house all weekend since it's Mother's Day weekend. GOOD. They shouldn't get anywhere near me until at least the middle of the week next week, and I am SO okay with that.
I dread going home after work when I know they'll be there. I pick up my kids and find any excuse I can not to go straight home. We suddenly need something from the grocery store, or somebody needs a hair cut, or I left something at the office and need to run back and pick it up. ANYTHING. I don't even care, if it spares me some time with the skids.
It's awful, not feeling welcome or even comfortable in my own home. I do feel like a prisoner, especially on the weekends, and lately I've been finding excuses to get away even on the weekends, just so I don't have to go hang out with them anywhere.
DH knows why I do it - I haven't kept it a secret or lied about it - and it depresses him that I don't find his little darlings every bit as precious as he does, but I can't help that.
At least I have every other week without them, but even those weeks are messed up because I dread them coming back! It SUCKS!
Honestly, if I'd known how bad they were before DH and I got married, I'd have NEVER married him. It's that bad. At this point, I'm going to do the best I can to carry on and make the best of it, but it truly sucks some days.
I think we all are in the
I think we all are in the same boat as you. I would do ANYTHING to avoid going home. There were a few times I actually signed up to work overtime at work on a Saturday rather than be at home.
It's really discouraging when you'd rather be at work than at home.
I REQUESTED to work weekends
I REQUESTED to work weekends when I was working. Granted I had a rotating schedule so I would have a weekend off every 6 weeks, I still would let co workers know that if they needed a sat or sun off I would be more than happy to pick it up!
ME TOO!! I did NOT want to go
ME TOO!! I did NOT want to go home EVERY weekend or for "surprise" visits!!
And heard ALL those pathetic lame excuses from biodad! In my case though, I had to stick around to make sure the skids didn't set fire to the cats, burn down the house (zero supervision by daddykins) AND put the BRAKES on guilty daddy's "love"-purchasing spending.
Can you start to Nanny 911 her?
Slowly start assigning chores then brag to daddykins about "what a GOOD LEARNER/CLEVER GIRL" blah blah.
Then when she heads back to the BMs (out of earshot of biodad) say to SD8 "be SURE to come back now--I have a whole lot more FUN activities planned for us when you come back!" Then wink and smile coyly. She WILL tattle to daddykins and when it gets back to you say "oh these kids--such creative imaginations they have!"
I have ZERO sympathies for guilty/disney dads whose kids PAS out--I say you HASTEN the process for your own sanity!
It's so reassuring to know
It's so reassuring to know that I'm not the only one! My 2 SD lived with us so I was around them full time - I use past tense because I couldn't take it anymore and left. Being in that relationship brought out the worst in me and I hated living with them. I sometimes felt like a stranger in my own home. The chore chart is a good idea. Just try anything to make your living situation better. I just don't think it's fair or feasible the we should have to live and feel this way.
I literally just broke and lost the will to continue trying, but if don't see why or how you ladies can continue living this way!
Im so happy to see I am not
Im so happy to see I am not the only one that dreads coming home..thank you thank you!! I immediately schedule things after work that keep me out of the house until close to bed time...whew..
I think there are a lot of us
I think there are a lot of us in this same boat. It really sucks when our home, is not our home and there is no pleasure in spending time there. At least you dont have SD full time.... and you get some time to enjoy your home.
I am in such a pissy mood
I am in such a pissy mood when his kids are with us. Luckily I have two of my own who are teenagers and very busy so I try to be gone as much as possible when they are there. Or I take myself to the gym every night and my two are old enough to go with me so most occasions I still get to spend my time with them. Find something you can do with your daughter out of the house if you can - its a win, win.