I met my boyfriend while he was seperated (her choice). His divorce will be finalized in one month. He has a 6 year old daughter who is very affectionate. I would like to say that I have a good relationship with her, but I don't feel as though I do.

She adores me, but I have a hard time accepting her. It's not her fault. It is the behavior she has learned from her parents. She yells at her father constantly, and he yells back, and then gives her candy or something similiar to win her affection back. Her mother has referred to him by name (refusing to call him "daddy" to her)so much that she now calls him by his first name. She is selfish and needy with no respect for anyone or anything (including the poor kitten Daddy got her), even though you can tell she knows she should.

My BF and his ex are in court ordered co-parenting counseling, but they spend the time complaining about each other instead of concentrating on their daughter. The ex tries every little thing to make our life hell (like filing motion after motion with the courts for things like wanting one more hour per week with her daughter because she doesn't get "enough" time with her, even though she has majority custody at this point), and my BF rarely fights back or defends himself (and us). I feel as though his daughter and I are caught in the middle all of the time. The ex does something horrible, and he picks fights with us instead of dealing. The Ex pollutes her daughter's mind and I don't want to have to correct her anymore when she says "Mommy says Daddy is a stupid jerk", "Mommy says Daddy's money is my money and I can take it whenever I want", "Mommy says you aren't allowed to teach me to read any more" etc.

The court has ordered them to work things out between themselves and that I and the ex's boyfriend cannot interfere. I know step-parenting is not easy, but it feels impossible with a BF that is in denial. His family only knows a limited amount of what's happening. My loved ones have suggested that I leave, except no one wants the child to suffer even more, not to mention what I would go through. I feel like I've tried everything (stayed out of it, interfered, gone to counseling for myself, tried to be strong and supportive, tried to be vulnerable about how it affects me, etc) with no progress at all and am not sure what the right thing is to do. Any feedback would be helpful at this point!