ok so i recently had a talk with BM about boundaries of which after a LONG talk we have come to some agreements. Normally DH has children during week and BM has them on the weekend. However this pass week BM decided she wanted to take the SD 9 and SS 5 (total 4SKids in home) with her after getting off from work and bring them back in the morning for school since she lives close but not in the same school zone.the two older children are still with us in the evening because they are in tutoring. DH has an issue with her picking the two younger children up because one of the main reasons he has the children during week is he works long hours on weekends. At first I had an issue with it as well because we both know when the children are with BM there is lack of discipline, learning,studying, or sleep goes on. When the two younger children came back in the morning they were constantly cranky from lack of sleep and in the afternoon when they get home from school but before she picks them up rather than do their homework they slept. As the week progressed I realized SS or SD was finishing homework at BM house. By Thurs SD and SS were soo disrespectful, and rude that I had to physically make them sit in the corner until they finished their homework. I have never had to place them in time out before. I text DH about what happened and suggested that he speak to them. When he got home he failed to do so and of course SS and SD told BM who was POed about saying she doesnt want me snatching her children up. Well one i do not believe in spanking nor did I snatch her children up. however i wouldnt have had to physically assist the children into timeout if you would take the time to discipline them.They do not respect her and do back talk even over talk her. THey know I do not play that nor do their DH. DH defended me by saying he doesnt see anything wrong with me taking the course of action i did and that he doesnt want his children to become spoiled brats. BM has decided that even though she doesnt believe i would cause harm to the children she would rather pick her to younger children up and keep them. Here is the thing DH is not happy about this but I must admit even though I feel his pain it is like heaven when the two arent here. They mainly the SD is the source to alot of chaos between their older siblings. DH is more attentive when they arent so idk I want the kids to have stability and really dont want to deal with the aftermath of the two younger siblings falling behind in school but i love the peace in the home.