bm tells children not to listen to me
so my boyfriend and i have full custody of his ex step-daughter 12, 2 daughters 7 and 6. my daughter 5 and our child together 10 months. We have been having a hard time getting our family to blend together and work well as a family together. ive been reading books, asking advice from everyone I know and even asking advice from a therapist trying to figure out how to make the children all behave and get along together. come to find out the other day that our main problem and the cause of my anxiety is that his ex-wife is telling the children when she sees them once a week that they dont have to listen to me and are not to listen to me and to be mean to my children. wtf is wrong with her, we are trying everything we can to have a happy healthy family life and she is doing everything she can to destroy it. i am not one for hate but im having a hard time not hating her. grrrrrrrr
FSS's mom tells him she hates
FSS's mom tells him she hates me and I'm a bad person. He lives with us most of the time. He and I have had a point-blank discussion that his mom hasn't met me enough or talked to me enough to know what kind of person I am. However, FSS (8) is old enough to decide for himself what kind of person I am. He also knows that I don't find having to argue with him to do his chores fun. So, if I'm doing it, there's a reason for it, and once he gets reminded of that, he decides that the sooner he gets his responsibilities taken care of, the sooner we get to have fun. It is also ok for them to not like members of the stepfamily, but they do need to treat everyone with kindness and respect, especially since they'd want that in return. You might have your BF explain that in a family meeting with all the kids present.
i know that he is the one
i know that he is the one with the custody of his children but we consider ourselves to be a team and we work as one. i have never spoken to her about custody so thats not her problem. i actually try to avoid problems with her. her children have asked me more than once if they can call me mom and i simply tell them that it is not a good idea because it would probably hurt their mothers feeling alot.