BF leaves my house to go sleep at his mums in bed with his 13 yr old son
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My new bf who has moved in with me over the last 6 wks leaves my house to go to his mothers to sleep with his 13 yr old son at the weekend. I feel this is unacceptable and is as much an issue of the father wanting it as much as the son. He has done it 3 times in 6 wks. He can see his son any time he wants as they live in the same small town. The reason behind this is to make it easier for the ss to get use to the situation. I also feel that even though the ss has stayed here and knows he is welcome, he is playing games by refusing to come here so he can get his own way. Or is it my bf who wants this time with him and creates the situation. Anyway something is telling me this is wrong, and isnt there a name for this type of thing.
Your intuition is telling you
Your intuition is telling you something here. You know this is wrong. You are 100% right in suspecting your BF is the problem.
We all initially blame the horrid kids. We love our husbands/fiancées, boyfriends. Love truly is blind. This love blinds us to the fact that the fathers are the problem, not the children. We seethe fathers as a victim of these awful children. Always having to do their bidding or else. The truth is, these grown men are taking the easy way out in pandering to their children. If they do whatever the child wants, not do they only create ths monster, who gets bigger and bigger with every passing year, but they get a pay off from it. They don't have to be a parent. They don't have to take responsibility as a parent, and this allows them to have a carefree life they can come and go as they please, and once again they accept no responsibility, if you complain, he will put it all fair and square on his child.
This is a new relationship. This is the honeymoon period, and this is how he treats you after only 6 weeks of living together. I hate think how he will e treating you after 6 months.
Be very grateful for your good intuition and the early warning. Make him your ex boyfriend.
If I complain he does not put
If I complain he does not put in on the child he just walks out. Yesterday I didnot complain but he saw I wasnt happy and ended the relationship. What does that tell you. I am a mother of two a 20 yr old whoes father was never there due to a drunk driving accident that left him severly brain damaged and in 24 hr care when child 1 was 2, and I have a 15 yr old son whoes father died a year and a half ago, we had been seperated since my son was 2. I know the importance of teaching children to be independant, mine have had no choice. But I feel this bf is still babying this child and scared that in two yrs his son will be gone and not wanting to spend time with him. The ss is so spoilt what ever he wants he gets no matter who has to go without or be financially crippled so he can have what he wants, and believe me it is a constant stream of wants. Yes I think I am better off away from it.
I have one very important
I have one very important question - "Why is this man still you BF??!!??" That is just ridiculous that he does this - the kid is 13 not 3 - I would get out of this ASAP!!!
How do you know he's going to
How do you know he's going to his mother's house? That may be an excuse he's using to get out of the house. What 13 year old boy needs/wants to sleep with his dad? I'll bet there's another woman involved.
Disneyfan there is no other
Disneyfan there is no other woman. You don't know all the story and dont need too, I am just giving the basic facts. The sleeping with his son is meant to be a secret but he can't fool me brcause the truth always prevails and one of them always lets it slip. and as he is only 2 blocks away it's not hard to find out the truth.
Normal men don't sleep with
Normal men don't sleep with 13 year old boys. Based on the basic facts you've shared, your BF isn't normal.
Kick the creep out.
Omg!!! A grown man sleeps in
Omg!!! A grown man sleeps in the same bed WITH his 13 year old son?? Oh heck no!!! This seriously screams ICK!!!! Im also confused-- why isnt his Teenage Son coming to you & daddys house?? Why at the grandparents?? This all seems weird & weird!!
Imo- move on !!! Why do you still wanna sleep with this man?? Dont you feel totally skeeved out knowing last night he was cuddling in bed with a teenage boy? & umm...at 13 most boys wouldnt want dear ole daddy in bed with them or even hugging/cuddling with dad at all. Hes at the age where boys usually dont want to be so close to any parental figure They pull away & start hangin with their buddies more, its a normal sense of growing up & pulling away.
Hun-- there is Nothing "normal" about what your man is doing here & it ought to gross you out too!!! What the hell is he doing running to mommies house to sleep with a 13 yr old boy??!!?? Ewwww!!!
(By the way- take my response as me not trying to be mean, but more concerned for you!! Big red flags everywhere on this)
Yes i am seething about it,
Yes i am seething about it, Especially after the 1st time when I had to stay home so he can spend time with his son, then to find out that the ex and her fiance turned up and they were all sitting there drinking. I told him I felt ostricised and was not happy to hear he was drinking with his ex. He told me it wasn't his ex he was drinking with it was her bf duh?? and like I said because my face showed i was not happy this time he called me a selfish c#*t and ended the relationship and left, no doubt to be left to his sickness alone. I have waited 3 mths to have 2 days alone with this man and I get called selfish. His son comes first obviously in more ways than one. Well sad for him coz his mother is over it also and wants him gone. The son must want it also. They were seperated for two yrs when the ss was 5. But that was the bf fault. he would rather sulk than make a effort to see him, untill he wized up and realized he was missing out. They obviously BOTH have issues. But sadly what ever ss wants he gets, to the point that the bf has finished the relationship he has wanted for 26 yrs to continue to sleep with his son. Crikey I have been dumped so he can sleep with a teenage boy!!! I Can't of meant to him what he made out i did
Define "sleeps with." Do you
Define "sleeps with." Do you mean he goes over there and crawls into bed with him? Or do you mean that SS is staying at his grandmother's house and BF goes over there when SS is there and sleeps under the same roof?
He crawls into bed with him!!
He crawls into bed with him!!
He leaves for a night, I
He leaves for a night, I thought after the first episode it was over but no. please read my replies and comments. He is going to bf mothers house where they (father and son)do sleep in the same bed. The bf was living at his mothers 6 weeks ago. where he has been for the last 6 yrs. the son lives in the same block as the nanny so turns up there whenever he wants, and shows no respect for her privacy as he wrecks her bedroom, now that ss father has left she has taken to kicking him out. something she was not allowd to do not do with dad there. So you guessed wrong sorry. He would not go anywhere near the ss mother, that is a dead cert.
Another woman is involved.
Another woman is involved. period. dot.
There is no other woman, as I
There is no other woman, as I said he is only 2 blocks away not hard to find him. He is sleeping with his teenage son. I have even had to have the kid in the room with us at one stage. coz he wants daddy. Daddy cant leave him while he is in bed to go places with me without the ss holding on to him saying no don't go. it's not right.
He is staying at his mothers
He is staying at his mothers (bf mothers) and yes he is crawling into bed with his 13yr old son. And I thought after the last episode it was over, but no he came in with his son yesterday and announced that he would be staying at his mothers with his son again last night. There is No other woman I am his 1st relationship for 7 yrs, and if he was sleeping with his ex I don't think her new man would be into that. And he would rather hit her with a concrete post before getting into bed with her.
The child does not want to
The child does not want to stay at mine, he knows how to emotionally manipulate his father, he's had a good teacher watching his mother over all these years. He stayed here twice, but has figured out if he says he want to stay at nannies then dad will come running also. It's making me sick, I will not be played by a child
Honey, you're not being
Honey, you're not being played by a child.
Your BF is SICK. Grown ass men don't CLIMB INTO BED with adolescent boys unless there is a PROBLEM upstairs. I am one of the last to jump to the "this is inappropriate, he's a child molester" rhetoric that is often spouted on here, but in this case...
It fits.
Two words:
MORNING BONERS.
Apparently the sons isn't
Apparently the sons isn't there yet(boners) And yes the bf has issues. This I was prepared to live with as I have known him for over 30 yrs, This relationship nearly happened 26 yrs ago, but I said no. Now he is saying the relationship is over coz even tho I agreed to him staying there he knew I wasn't happy about it. Is it a case of get rid of the person who pricks his concience so he can carry on his weird behaviour?. Even his mother (Nanny) knows it not right, but she has learnt to keep quiet on that and many other matters. She does not want them there either, but they just move in and take over. She has had enough also.
OK. I have two sons, 15 and
OK. I have two sons, 15 and 18. I've also had two husbands. And a father. And a brother.
They ALL have said those "morning issues" start BEFORE 13. C'mon. I can't believe you're even involved in this, honestly.
Yeah, I would say most likely
Yeah, I would say most likely the boners are definitely occurring. Think back to junior high, boys covering their fronts with books and binders. They were doing that for a reason!! I think it is for sure a, "get rid of the person who pricks his conscience so he can carry on his weird behavior" breakup.
The 13 year old is definitely
The 13 year old is definitely there. You are in denial if you believe your boyfriend when he says his son is not. If you want the truth i am sure google would be able to fill youi in on these matters. If your bf is lying to you about this , what then.
Update. The relationship
Update. The relationship finished thank god. I in the end kicked him out and refused to have any more contact in any way what so ever. He tried to strangel me and that was it. I was long over it. But this next part will let you all in on the utter sickness of it. The ex BF was a alky registered and totally in another world. delusional. and after removing him from my property went home and told his son lies. He then caused troube (ex ss) for my son and in the end my son had death threats from the nutty childs mother and then she got her 32 yr old partner to attack and beat my son in the street. The Police took the ss sf to court with so many lies he got $350 fine. We however had no say and the death threaths were not dealt with at all. They got away with it due to the corrupt police officer who was dealing with it. I cannot believe what I witnessed from these people. I have never come across such scum. And I saw a incident that I consider completely inappropriate between the ex bf and his mother. I cuddle and kiss that was just so inappropriate.
This child ges :jawdrop: :sick: t WHAT EVER HE WANTS ALWAYS, they will rob steal and do what ever it takes to ensure this child get EVERY SINGLE THING HE WANTS. They turned on us after I said no to the child wanting my sons dead fathers fishing rod. By the time I found out about it. The bf had removed it from hiding and had it at the childs house all ready to rob my son of it!! I found out and said no and that was the real nasty turning point. The son wanted my son beaten up by trying to set a gang member on him, He already knew the truth, So they got their adult sf to attack my 16 yr old in the st
They are sick alright in more ways than one. But isn't it funny if you have a nice house and a criminal record you get better treatment from the authorities than those who only have a house ( coz you don't get into robbing and fraud to have all the bells and whistles) and no criminal convitions.
Quite frankly they deserve all they get.
And there must be a reason why the ex ss always wanted a friend to stay when staying at the fathers and Nannys house. YUK YUK YUK :sick:
Holy crap! Glad you got out
Holy crap! Glad you got out of that hot mess.
yip me too. Not wanting to
yip me too. Not wanting to be involved with anyone again. That was the first in 6 years. that's the last ha
If it looks like a dog,
If it looks like a dog, smells like a dog and barks like a dog.... its a dog. This is definately a dog. You know it and so does your BF. I would give BF a choice. Be in your home with you or leave. SS can come or not but BF needs to man up, be an adult and make the relationship the priority it should be.
The relationship should be the priority for both partners. Kids are a primary responsibility but the relationship is the only priority.
IMHO of course.