Again, BM is holding SS12 phone hostage...
SS12 has a phone for which DH pays. DH sees SS12 EOWE only and it became too much of a hassle to call him via BM's phone, since most of the time she would not answer. SS12 has had the phone for about 3 months. During those 3 months, DH was probably able to reach him on this phone for about 2 weeks total. The rest of the time, BM " confiscated " SS12 phone because she was upset about something DH apparently did ( or did not do, he mostly ignores her text rants and vile e mails ). Every time she is mad at DH, SS12 gets his phone taken away. Off course BM does not like the freedome which comes with your own phone... she wants to be in control of when and if DH speaks to his son at all times.
Finally, after another confiscation last night, DH suspended the phone service, since it makes on sense paying for a phone when he cant talk to SS12 anyways. Now he has to call SS12 again on BMs phone, and there is no answer and SS12 is not calling back, because BM wont allow him to speak to his father.
There really must be a special place in hell for bitter and angry women like that who simply can not move on. MOVE FRIGGIN ON BITCH geezus, how awful to grow up for kids with mothers like that.
Sighs. Rant over.
I think the general consensus
I think the general consensus here is that the phone is to be controlled by whoever's house it is in and by that I mean: if BM sends my SS home with a phone, I (DH) have a right to take it away for the duration of his visit here because that is DH's time and DH's rules. However, when the child goes back so does the phone. Some would even suggest giving the kid a certain amount of time on the phone on a set schedule so that the kid can make his calls to his mom/dad and be done with it until the next day or whatever. What it boils down to is if the contact is interfering with the other parent's time. If it is then they have a right to take it away. Your child's BM does have a right to take the cell from him, but that means she has to be the arbitrator of the calls to and from your DH to his son. If she is refusing to let him talk to his son then that's a violation of the custody order (most of them have a clause in the bottom saying that both parents have the right to contact the child) and he should speak to an attorney about writing BM a letter to stop it or else. Keep the phone records of how many times your DH has tried to call and how often he actually speaks to his son and for how long. Does BM call during his time with y'all? Your DH could simply email BM saying that if she will not let him speak to his son during her time then the same will be done for her until you go to court and get it all settled.
BM calls several times a day
BM calls several times a day when SS12 is at our house and never, not once, did DH interfere.
I agree that phone should be controlled in whatever house it is. It is just sad that BM uses the phone as as a weapon - the whole reason SS12 received a phone was to avoid DH having to contact BM ( and vice versa ) since BM is extremely hostile. Apparently she needs the drama to continue and SS12 phone would reduce the drama. Drama mama can't have that
Easy fix if you want to go
Easy fix if you want to go the legal route:
File a modification for electronic access, Google it, it was an option both DH and I explored due to the confiscated phone issue.
BM would confiscate phone and verbally abuse the kids with "you love him more" statements if they answered his calls or texts.
The lawyers suggested it gives full LEGAL access to telephone contact, if she takes the phone away she would be in contempt of the CO
That's an awful ruling. A
That's an awful ruling.
A crazy,control freak BM or dad could have a field day with that. There's a SM here who is dealing with this. BM got the judge to rule that the kid can have the phone, dad can't limit its use, turn it off, leave it behind if they are out.....
That darn phone rules their time with the kid. Mom can always track them, she can bother them all hours of the day nigh
If these issues end up in court, judges should just give a set day/time for the parent to call. That call can be made to a land line or mom or dad's cell.
Almost everyone I know has
Almost everyone I know has given up their landline. Only my and DHs parents still have one.