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Advice on how deal with horribe ex wife !!

jen123's picture

Submitted by jen123 on Mon, 01/30/2017 - 7:42pm

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Blended Family Issues

:? well where do I start I been married for 7 years to my partner and we have a child each from separate marriges .... his ex wife who he has a daughter to is so unkind to me all the time and I tried so hard to be nice to her, she so jealous and mean... last summer she decided she didn't want her daughter to come to our home no more and demanded my husband went to his mothers to see his daughter every weekend, which he has been doing but its so hard having our family torn apart like this. she told everyone her reason was that I pulled her daughters hair which is a load of crap, and the child who is ten has recently told my husband her mam has made it up and that I didn't pull her hair .... but since she did this me and my husband have just fought and he doubted me he didn't belive or trust me, even though he seen me with my own child and I never even shout at her never mind hurt her physically.... we separated over xmas as things got so bad I found it so hard to fogive him for not defending me and being there for me, but we trying to work things out and he moved back in,but still has to go see his daughter at his mothers each weekend, the worst thing is his ex has even manipulated my husbands mother and she is on his ex side even though his ex is re married and has a new husband and everything she still out to hurt me, me and my child never get ivited to my husabands mams cause his ex has manipulated his mother and so we get left out of family patys etc, and its just awful .... since she found out my husband and me are back together she at it again, someone has rang the social services on her as she was leaving her 9 year old with her 11 year old all day whilst her and her husband worked in the school holiday . but I had nothing to do with this she basically blamed me saying I trying to get her daughter put into care which is rubbish I didn't even know she left her kids I don't see the child no more she stopped that and yet again my husband doubted me and she caused a load of trouble. but we rang the social worker yesterday and she said it was an anonymous call . anyways I so sick I ready to leave my marriage of 7 years because of this women always in the background causing me hurt and distress. I don't have clue how to deal with any of this and I so fed up of being hurt .

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Tue, 01/31/2017 - 1:15am

In short... your husband needs to grow some balls. His loyalty belongs with you and not the XW.

Acratopotes's picture

Submitted by Acratopotes on Tue, 01/31/2017 - 12:11am

I agree with above posters.... your husband needs to stand up to her and tell her to suck on eggs...

there's no proof and the child admitted they made it up, thus your husband can see his daughter in his house. DH should tell BM to butt out and get a life.

You: Ignore BM, block her from contacting you ever and ignore her flat, never even make eye contact unless you stare her down.

jen123's picture

Submitted by jen123 on Tue, 01/31/2017 - 1:21pm

yes I agree my husband is very disloyal to me over his ex wife and is petrified that if he stands u to himshe take his daughter away from him its a joke and your right his loyalty should be to me but it isn't its to her as he afraid she take his kid off him as she done it before she horrible person

Thumper's picture

Submitted by Thumper on Tue, 01/31/2017 - 7:56am

Your husband is the problem here. HE MUST follow the court order for starters.

Please have him read the responses on here.

His obligation and loyalty is to you his wife. Unless of course your in a sister wives situation.

SORRY he is acting this way. I bet he is scared he will not see his kids IF he is not bm's puppet. WRONG WRONG WRONG way to think but very common.

Suzeeh's picture

Submitted by Suzeeh on Tue, 01/31/2017 - 8:17am

I've had the same issues with my husband's ex-wife. It took me a long time to not react and just ignore, even though it's hard to do so, esp. when you're being lied about. I do have to agree with the posts here. He seems spineless, esp. since he should know you wouldn't hurt the child. I have one that's spineless too and need to make a decision soon. Good luck.

jen123's picture

Submitted by jen123 on Tue, 01/31/2017 - 1:24pm

thanks hunni I recently got the police involved about her constantly bad mouthing me to my husband mam and him and then him coming home and being mean to me cause of her lies . And everyone is right it is my husband fault if he had stood up for me she wouldn't have got away with any of this . my husband has been very disloyal to me and its caused a huge rift in our marriage. she re married aswell why does she want to hurt me to have my husband turned against me x she horrible anyways I got police to speak to her so hopefully this may help as she always lying and trying cause trouble and I have had enough

jen123's picture

Submitted by jen123 on Tue, 01/31/2017 - 1:25pm

Blum 3 Blum 3 Blum 3 I reckon he would have she left him lol who knows he lives with me but his loyality lies with her and his child and I had enough of it all being hurt . them all being on a big witch hunt to make me out to be someone I aint .

101Stepmom101's picture

Submitted by 101Stepmom101 on Tue, 01/31/2017 - 2:30pm

Demanded your husband and Step Daughter are home with you. The only demand he should be listening to is yours! (I know easier said than done.. :/ But... He's showing her she can control him. Is this really how you want to live your life? My husbands ex tried that with me. "The kids aren't ready for it yet." She wanted him to rent hotels or stay with others after he moved in with me. As if it was best for them to be dragged from hotel room to hotel room? He said NO. She was the one who wasn't ready for it. She is the jealous and afraid they will like me more than her. This blended family life is so crazy! One day at a time !