Ungrateful sd
We got sd7 last night for our half of the holiday break. She opened her gifts from “Santa,” my SO’s family and my family. Halfway through opening the TON of gifts she got she abruptly goes “can I go to grandmas now?” (Her grandmother watches her later on Friday nights into Saturday morning while my SO works) followed by “I’m sooooo excited cause grandma got me Nintendo” followed by a dejected “I guess I’m going to stay here for a while longer” and then opening the next pile of 10’plus gifts. The ungrateful little brat! I told her she was being rude and disrespectful and look at all the money we spent on her and despite that she wants to leave 30 minutes after she arrives? Can anyone tell me if this is her being a selfish brat or if this is normal for a 7 year old? If not normal, how should we handle it? I’m beyond disgusted today and plan on leaving for the gym and “errands” the second she gets home from grandmas.
Yes
"Yes, SD, lets take you straight to Grandmas." Then return all the unopened gifts ( i didnt say unwrapped, i said unopened) and get your money back.
I read these posts about
I read these posts about people spending hundreds and hundreds on little children, tons of gifts everywhere - and then people are surprised that the kids feel ungrateful for what they get. Why wouldn't they? They are handed everything and more - more than they even want, to the point where she doesn't even want to open up her presents. Who is all of that for, then, if she's no longer interested? It's for the PARENTS, not for the kid. And then the parents get upset when a 7-year-old, who has been given everything she ever needed, isn't grateful for it. Why should she be? She knows no different.
If all the kid wanted for Christmas was a Nintendo, why didn't the parents get that as her one big gift, and then a few small ones to complement it?
I don't think the kid is to blame here. Her attitude has been created by the adults around her.
I have told Grandparents to limit gifts
Some of this stuf sounds like too much to me. Tell them to put in college fund if they want to spend a lot.
My in-laws
were great at getting the kids junk for presents when they were younger. Including the year my MIL got my makeup loving, hair dyeing, then 13 year old seed packets with bible verses, potting soil, and a pot for her birthday. It was junk just to have something to give them. Now that the kids are adults and almost adults they have expressed to me how hard it was to fake a smile and act like it was the best gift for all those years.
I also had a year where DS was given the world (first grandchild) for his birthday. He was three and after four gifts he threw a complete temper tantrum and refused to open one more gift. He had two Batman toys and two Toy Story toys he had opened and he was happy and content. Why open more? I cut down and asked everyone else to cut down after that. He had close to 50 gifts that year and it took us weeks to get them opened.
That's why I always give my
That's why I always give my teen/young adult nieces and nephew what they want for Christmas - MONEY. They appreciate it, I get lots of hugs, and I don't have to shop for them. Presents should be for the receiver, not the giver.
ETA: We had the same experience with my niece when she was 2. Took her literally all day to open her gifts and we were joking about having to threaten her with consequences to open all of them (Didn't - just kidded about it). That was about all of us, not her. She was happy with the first one.
Kids get overwhelmed
with piles of gifts and at 7, she is just now at the "learning empathy and to be grateful" part of life and still in the "speak my truth" part. So in her mind she wanted Nintendo and got Nintendo. That was what she wanted. A pile of gifts she didn't really want is a chore more than a joy. So she said it.
I would have corrected her and reminded her that we are thankful for gifts because it shows that people we thinking of us and on Sunday she should write some Thank You cards. I also would have let her stop opening gifts and would have spread it out a bit more.
It's never too soon to start
It's never too soon to start teaching a child about gratitude and graciousness. We started having conversations with SO's kids about this last month in anticipation of the holidays. His 6 year old was exemplary when opening her gifts. She was thankful and gracious. His 3 year old tried, but she still needs some work, as would be expected.
If no one has taught this SD to be a thankful and gracious gift recipient, this is not on her. Her parents need to step it up. If she has been taught, then she needs consequences when she doesn't meet expectations, and the expected behavior needs to be reinforced. It's certainly not too late to nip this in the bud with a 7 year old.
Quit catering to her and put
Quit catering to her and put your collective parental foot up her ass. She quits the entitled crap or she suffers an existence of abject misery. Turn up the misery until you get the behaviors you are looking for.
No more gramma’s place until behaviors comply with the standards you set for your home.