What about adoption? Or foster parenting?

I am going to tell you something that I only have my experience of: if you want a Biokid, nothing will make that feeling go away. No kid of someone else will ever take that place or fill that hole in your life. I don't believe that feeling ever goes away.

I am 35 with a SS12. He is not my kid, I don't feel like a Mum, even though I know this child since he was 1.

Consider what you want for the rest of your life: do you want your own family and child. Or are you happy with a gf and stepkid. Make the decision for you - and only you. Because only you will live with the consequences of your decision. If you can be happy and not have a kid, then stay, love your skid and your girlfriend. Make life amazing!!

If you can't, walk away - don't blame gf bio clock. It's not to be. Find someone else and restart your life. It can be done.

Good luck.

I got married later in life. When I realized there was no on on the immediate horizon to begin a family with I adopted my son and daughter. I was a single mom to them for many years.....they are my everything, I could not love them more than if I conceived and gave birth to them. But I still had a desire to be pregnant, to expericne what it would be like to carry another life inside of me (some of my friend say I am crazy and should consider myself lucky I did not have the experience ) But then I met my now husband who is 8 years older than me. His son is he same age as my son. He made if clear from the very beginning stages of our relationship he did not want anymore children. That left me with a lot of soul searching to do. Here I have this man that I think I am falling in love with and pretty sure he feels the same about me.....was I going to give him up to pursue someone that may not exist or that I may never find in hopes of having a biological child? Well, I did not give him up, we are married and I am glad I made the decision I did or otherwise I might still be alone waiting for someone that would never measure up.

Maybe you leave this woman and spend the next five years pursuing 25 year olds. Now you're nearly forty and you hear your own biological clock ticking, (you don't want to hear your bones creak as you teach'em to ride a bike) plus now YOU are less attractive to the 25 year olds. So you snap up the next 30 something girl you can basically get along with. You have the baby you want, but you spend your entire marriage with this "acceptable" woman daydreaming about that special woman you let get away and the fire and deep bond you once had.

Life is full of choices and roads not taken.

Or you meet the oh so fertile 29 year old who also makes your heart go pitty pat the day after you break up. Life can also be described as a crap shoot. Making one choice does not guarantee that you will get what you intended to get.

Hmmm...do you hate me now? I kinda do....

I would not leave your woman you so admiringly describe. As for fertility her eggs are getting old, remember they've been there since before her birth, and old eggs don't perform well.

If you got LOTS of money you two can try with someone else's egg. If you want to have fun with it ask the 15yo if she'll donate a egg. You're wife won't be the first woman to bear her own grandchild. I'm serious.

Have you guys seen an RE? (Reproductive Endocrinologist) If not, I'd HIGHLY recommend doing that. (Her OB\GYN can give her a referral if you've been trying for 6 months.) Yeah, it might be her eggs... or it might not. *shrug* Only way to know is to go see the doc. Some things are actually easily fixable - it'd be a shame if you guys just assumed you knew what the problem was and how much it'd cost, if it was something else entirely.

FWIW, I had my twins at age 40. My mom had my brother when she was 42. It's perfectly possible to have kids in your 40's. Now, whether you have the energy to chase toddlers around in your mid to late 40's is a different question!

just wanted to say I am in the same boat. My SO has had a vasectomy. there is a chance a reversal could work but its been several years and he is about to turn 40. I am 29 and feel my clock is ticking. I can't fathom leaving such an amazing man over a vasectomy but how do I live with maybe never having a child of my own?

I am a biospawn free step dad. I feel no loss and have no feelings that I have missed something life. Don't get me wrong. I love kids. If we had spawned I would have enjoyed that very much.

However, not having spawned I have no sense of having missed something. My bride is young (38) and I am 50. She could not safely have more children due to toxemia/preeclampsia when pregnant with the Skid (SS-22). We just celebrated our 20th anniversary and our son (my SS-22) officiated. My situation is different than yours in that I met my bride when SS was 15mos old and we married the week before he turned 2yo. So, he is my kid, I am his dad and I had most of the experience of being a parent less a couple of years of diaper duty.

DW decided about 5 years ago she wanted more kids. I was fine with that but insisted that she see her Gyno for consultation on more spawn. I was not willing to jeopardize her life or health just for a Ragslet. The Doc shut that plan down in a hurry. On top of the toxemia/preeclampsia issue my bride is prone to blood clots due to hormonal birth control and the Doc said the even higher level of hormones due to pregnancy would be far too risky. We talked adoption which though unlikely may still happen at some point. We have looked into adopting older kids (~8ish +/-) as they are much harder to place for adoption.

So rather than chasing rug rats around I will chase my incredible bride around the destination locations of the globe.

Enjoy your time with your Skid and an amazing future with your bride. Life is too precious and short to pine part of it away over what has not happened.

IMHO of course.

Good luck.