You're young, the kid is a jerk and your husband is unwilling to do anything about it. Leave while you're still young, before you have a child with him.

Welcome to this site (((HUGS)))

Well she is at that age where she will test BUT her parents need to set her straight when she is out of bounds. Sadly she now knows which button to press on you that works for her. Unless she is properly corrected, she will not be stopping what she is doing anytime soon. Your husband needs to have your back on this in my opinion.

My SD was lying claiming that we were abusing her and we put an end to that in no time. SD knows that if she spreads lies, we take her to that person who she lied to and have her give the full story and let her answer to others as to why she lied to them. They need to be held responsible for their actions, the sooner the better too!

If your husband does not put his foot down with her, she will be a nightmare in your life as long as you are with her dad...That is the way girls view it (your with my dad) and many men do not understand how nasty girls can become. Girls also hide that side of them from their dads in many cases too.

As soon as you can legally stay where you are without being married get a divorce. DON'T even dream of having children with this guy. Find a guy who is childless and start a family from scratch.

When the time comes tell your husband that you're sorry enough but you just can't live your life with such children in your life. I'm sorry I'm sure you had dreams of your life and fortunately its not too late. You just have to bide your time if necessary and start over. Fortunately you have your youth. Take advantage of that.

I must tell you that my advise would be exactly the same if racism was not a factor. Living with step-children can be horrible and remember bio-mothers can die or otherwise become unable to care for their children and these kids will be in your home full time.

Discipline - That is the key! He does need to step up give her a larger punishment because at her age she probly wants to hang with her friends more than her dad anyway. The love of my life has 3 9,13,17. The 17 year old never comes over anymore because she called the roomate a pedifile and her mom belived her. (I suspect she just didnt want to come and made that up throwing both myself and his roomate under the bus. Since the mom believes her there was no punishment. My problem with this is if the mom really thinks his roommate is a pedifile why let your younger daughters stay in the house with said pedifile? I totally understand your situation. It is hard and you will get through it but dad does need to step up. The oldest was cracking on me one night and my love stepped in and said dont you ever talk to her like that. I calmed the situation down by saying she is just jealoues. She has never spoken to me like that again. The oldest still does manipulitive stuff like mention mom around me and bring up old times when "dad was home" stories. I just act like it dosnt bother me and I can see her getting upset because I just let it roll off my back. Recently the youngest started saying she was going to hit people if they didnt like what she drew or what ever the case my be. I sat her down and told her that was assult and she could go to jail for saying things like that to people. I also said that it dosnt matter if anyone likes said project, if you like it thats all that matters. Then about a week later I over hear a convo between my love and ex and the ex said I am going to go beat that girl up at the grocery store. I made the connection... ex needs to get her self in check. I do not have kids of my own and not sure if I want any now but we will see. I know that your own kids are easier than others kids esp in these cases. GOOD LUCK!!!!

My SS6 has said some racist remarks on several occasions...his father always talks to him about it and makes him apologize.
The first couple of times he didnt tell his son anything or do anything cuz he was like oh he's just a kid ut when he realized ss6 wasn't going to stop he took some action. Your husband needs to do this. If she is racist she's learning it from somewhere. I grew up I a completely not racist home...I hardly even remember my mother mentioning race at all so when I was a kid I dont even think I payed any attention to or cared about a persons race...BUT I've noticed that ss6 is always noticing the different races and mentioning things about race a lot and I find that really strange for a child who is only 6.....wonder how he will be when he's older.
Your husband needs to do something about this.

:jawdrop: your DH should have knocked 7 bells out of her!! not literrally, but you know what I mean. No way in hell should you be standing there waiting for an apology, that is disgusting! she needed to apologize immediatly or stay the f out of yours and DH's life. That is disgusting and like others have said, she now knows your buttons to press.You need to speak with DH and tell him that those coments are not tolerated at all. Forget what the BM says as she obv doesnt care because its happening to you and nay grief you get the better. How did you not slap her?! She needs to have some major punishment and sent somewhere to learn about racially equality becasue that shit is disgusting and from someone so young : (
Get your DH to grow some balls or move on, you do not need that at all. Being a SM is hard enough let alone dealing with this type of insults on top

AqaurianShe- ergh alarm bells ringing! Your SS sound slike he will be in the papers whe he is older, and not for a football award!!

Your DH should have disciplined SD immediately after that comment and let her know behavior/comments like that are UNACCEPTABLE. I would be furious if I were in your shoes but ya know what.. I RARELY take the skid side of things but it sounds like she was just mad and it came out. It's NOT an excuse and she still should have been made to apologize, but I'm just thinking back about some things my SD has said to me when angry!

DH needs to step up and parent this kid or the behavior will continue.