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parent vs partner?

eagle2000's picture

Submitted by eagle2000 on Fri, 09/13/2013 - 7:32pm

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Bio Child Free Zone

So, my partner and I have been in a relationship for a few years. Sk is still young (under 5) and in that horribly needy stage. My partner seems to want me to play parent more than partner. I started the relationship with my partner, not the kid. I know that sk is obviously part of the deal (unfortunately 100% of the time, so we NEVER get any time alone). I do love my partner, but this feeling of being a roommate and babysitter is getting old quickly. Whenever talks of sk come about, it usually ends in "well, 'x' works for him and works for me (my partner)". I know kids are y but damn, can I get some peace and/or a break too. Just needed a quick vent, but any tips are great too.

sbm014's picture

Submitted by sbm014 on Sat, 09/14/2013 - 10:42am

I would honestly re-evaluate why you are even in the relationship. Why don't you make your own plans to go out and have alone time?

Does your partner have any hint that something is bothering you? Communication is key...it sounds like you are starting to resent both of them a lot - and it is only a matter of time before it hits a breaking point for you.

eagle2000's picture

Submitted by eagle2000 on Sat, 09/14/2013 - 8:13pm

Thanks for the comment. And, although I hate to admit it, I do think you're right on the resentment point. It's moreso with my partner, than sk (although it projects to sk sometimes). I have a lot to think about.

Redrobyn114's picture

Submitted by Redrobyn114 on Wed, 09/18/2013 - 12:49pm

I know exactly how you feel. I love my partner and she is a wonderful mother but I feel like a babysitter/ roommate at times too. When I mentioned this to her she lost it ad told me that I never have to do anything ever again for the kids. She ha calmed down but it was very hard to forget how she reacted. I feel like I am living someone else's dream. I feel in love with my partner not her kids. They are 11 and 13 and needy in different ways. I'm not sure what alone time is anymore and we struggle even more because we are a lesbian couple which has put even more stress on things. It's easy to say reevaluate and you should but it's hard to follow through on what you want when you know you need to make a change but don't want to. It's hard to think about leaving a person you love.