Mothers Day

Forums:

I'm new here but reading these forums has made me feel so much better already.

It was Mothers Day yesterday in the UK I know I am not a "real" mother as I am reminded so often but it is such a hard day for me, I have 5 skids and we get on reasonable well but on this day I just feel if I am nothing after all the bedtime stories, homework help, tucking in, plaster applying, agony aunt, cook etc that I still don't even register stupid consumerism invention!

Does anyone else struggle with this day or am I being silly?

No I posted as well about

No I posted as well about this. I always find it a shitty day and feel rather resentful that I'm not a bm but two other women have children as a result of my Dhs stupidity ahhhhh

I struggle with this as well.

I struggle with this as well. My solution? Every year (this will be my 4th) I treat myself to a mani/pedi and arrange a date night for me and DH. SS usually celebrates the day with his BM, even if we are supposed to have him, which means we usually have time for at least an early dinner.

Moral of the story is that you can only be responsible for your own actions. Yes, Mothers' Day can come and go without any recognition from anyone else, and that sucks. However, YOU know what an amazing woman you are for caring for your SKIDS. Treat yourself! Take the time to celebrate yourself on Mothers' Day.

Kind of related side note: Because BM never does anything for Fathers' Day, (she doesn't even let SS come over to visit if its her weekend!) I always plan something fun for him. Last year, because Fathers' Day landed on our weekend, I send the two boys off to a baseball game. The year before, since it was not on our weekend, we had dinner and a movie-of-his-choice date night. Again, you know what an amazing father he is, so make it your responsibility to celebrate the day.

I agree with this. Every

I agree with this. Every mother's day, except last, he goes back and forth over what her should get the kids to give to their BM. And then he asks me what he should do. Meanwhile, I just sit there like a jerk, cleaning up after them everytime they are with us, cooking for them, first aid, whatever they need. And I don't even rate, LOL. Well as time goes by I stopped expecting it. But I feel like DH should do something.

Yes he should. I don't

Yes he should. I don't expect the kids to appreciate what I do they hardly appreciate what their own parents do. But my DH for the last two years has taken my car to be cleaned unprompted it is sweet and no we don't talk about it being mothers day but I feel like he is doing something to show that he knows i deserve something for what I do. I'm just happy having a skid free day but I'll take the clean car too.

I'm in the same boat - we

I'm in the same boat - we have the SDs every single weekend (and have done for nearly four years), when I do all of the cooking, cleaning, washing, bath times, bedtimes, etc etc everything for everyone. The first year I'd been in their lives he took them to get a "thank you" card, which was lovely. The last two years I've got nothing whatsoever - I get that I'm not their mother, but I'd like some recognition from DH of all the 'mothering' that I do for the children he chose to have with another woman. I didn't say anything, but I was really hurt and had a bit of a teary morning today...

We also have them every

We also have them every weekend, the Thank you card was such a great idea; recognition but without stepping on too many toes but men probably think the one card is enough for the rest of your life.

I believe stepmother day is

I believe stepmother day is around the same month as Mother's Day. If Mother's Day is a big deal for you then just make plans to celebrate smom's day instead. Take the family on a day trip or whatever. I don't have any bio kids and Mother's Day doesn't bother me personally but I could see how it could hurt feelings too. But I'm also the smom that helps the little one make valentines artwork or whatever for his Mommy too so I guess it just depends on you and y'all's arrangements.

i dont, but im not that

i dont, but im not that involved with SD.

Oh, honey. You are TOO a

Oh, honey. You are TOO a mother. I hope that at some point they will recognize you as such, and I don't blame you at all for feeling blue.

For what it's worth, I think sometimes kids are in a bind, and feel guilty (or are made to feel guilty) for recognizing their stepmom in the same way they would recognize their mom -- so they don't. It's a difficult situation all around.

I am pretty lucky in regards

I am pretty lucky in regards to Mother's Day. My SO always makes sure that SD gets me a "like a mother" card and a nice gift. Just because you are not the biological mother doesn't mean you are not a mother to you skids. Having a child does not equal a mother.