I could not stay with a man who would lie to me to trap me in a marriage. Children for me was a non negotiable - you need to decide if it is for you & if you could give it up without resentment. I could not & that is before that biological clock kicks hard at 30.

That aside, his child is not your responsibility - especially if he wants to deprive you of children.

He sounds like a selfish prick who wanted a nanny, meal ticket and piece of ass.

Wow. I can't imagine this.

Talk to him again. For my own DH, after we got married he also suddenly wasn't sure about kids (but NEVER threatened our relationship). Turned out in his case, he was just sooooo happy with our life just the two of us that he was nervous about rocking the boat. I wasn't in a rush myself and, once he said that out loud, I realized I was happy to enjoy our time together as well.

About five years later we had our one and only. Now we're happy with how it is now!

But seriously, I'd talk to him again about treating his wife, his marriage, and his word with respect. He was way out of line.

Wanting children (or not wanting children) is non-negotiable. If one person is talked into doing what they don't really want, anger and resentment will eventually ensue. If you truly want a child, you should be with someone who wants the same.

He sounds pretty cold about it, throwing divorce in there right off the bat, is he even sorry he lead you on all these years? He kind of sounds like an ass. I'd take him up on the divorce.

Actually, you can probably get an annulment.

You also have to consider that his ultimatum is possibly not so much about his not wanting more kids but about him not wanting to be married. He picked something he knew was important to you and dangled the "d" word. Was it bait? To make you leave without him being the bad guy who had to do the leaving himself? Some men have a very difficult time initiating a breakup so they engineer it so the woman will initiate it. Painful to hear, I know. But he has already said something very painful to you and you have to consider why he was willing to do so.

On top of that being tricked and trapped is super super bad. If you think he is a very good man and otherwise have a lot of trust in his character you could ask him if he came to this realization recently or if he knew it all along? There may be a fruitful discussion there.

Bottom line, though, yes, I think in 10 years you would be unhappy and this marriage would be on shaky grounds anyway. Your relationship to the sd by then may also be quite tortuous. No matter how much you do for her now, when she's little and cute, she will still fantasize about the missing bm and good chance that you'll be thrown under the bus when she's older as so many of us have been.

I think your only chance is to have the discussion I mentioned in paragraph 2 and if something really beautiful and honest and workable comes from it, off you go. But I also believe the chances of that something good happening are fairly low. You can give it a try just to make sure.

If you just suck it up chances of you being embittered and miserable in 10 years are nearly 100%.

He's a liar.

You cannot have a good life with a liar.

You can stop loving anyone.

Now go fix your life and enjoy it to the fullest.

Skiffed along some other posts since I read some points that I'd love to touchbase upon later because I focused on the idea of having your own children.

When I divorced Ex-DH, one of the huge things that lurked in my brain: "He stole my fertile years." Married late 20's divorced while I was entering menopause. "Had babies with others, but couldn't have a baby with me."

Once liar always a liar. He never wants another child. He only wants a build in babysitter. You just have to be honest to yourself that you can live with someone like that for the rest of your life.

A.