How to introduce to a partners child
I am 23 year old gal. I've been friends with my partner for the past 6 months but we've lately decided to give a relationship a go. There is an age gap of 10 years though, I am 23 and he is 33. He has 4 year old son who I have not met yet. BM and him have been separated for a couple years now. The mother has the child full time however due to the standard of care he may live with his father in the coming years.
My partner and I have been discussing how to introduce me to his son. Does anyone have any tips or examples of how they met their partners child?
I love the man but it still worries me as I am 23 and would have a responsibility to this child. I at least have some experience as my mother and I were foster carers. I've experienced what it is like to have the child go to the parents and then come back happy or disappointed etc.
I ask the question "would it be hard to be a step parent" and I know it must be hard obviously but could it work out I wonder.
Meeting your SO's son is not
Meeting your SO's son is not that big a deal. What you need to worry about is what kind of parent your SO is.
The biggest mistake I made in my previous relationship was I waited too long to meet the child.
I dated my exBF for a year before I met his son. By that time, I was so in luuuuuuve with him, even though I saw the red flags with his son, I didn't want to pay attention to them.
My advice to you is trust your gut. The two of you have already been dating for six months now, don't wait any longer to met his son. If you see that his son is a brat, don't continue with the relationship. Things will only get worse, not better. I'm not saying this to be mean or harsh, it's just the truth. So many folks on here go into the relationship thinking things will get better. They never do.
This is actually something
This is actually something that drew me to him. We were friends for the first 6 months and it is only since patricks day that we have being going out. I have seen his parenting style and his background is very similar to mine. We are both warm and loving however we would not spoil a child. It is not something I would have thought about though and definitely something I will keep in mind.
I am a logical person (half the time!) when it comes to a relationship so I really do want to hear the truth. Honestly thank you for bring up those points
Great ideas! I was thinking
Great ideas! I was thinking about the zoo or something engaging that would allow him to focus on what is going on around him, more so than simply me. We had thought to simply have him come round and we could all spend some time together yet I can seen now that may make him uncomfortable. I'll look into some activities that we can all do
What you said about mentioning me and showing pictures is great! I showed this to my partner and he said it is actually something he never thought about before but a great idea. We're going to get some pictures together and all that so he can see who I am before we all meet. Thank you so much for the ideas
Aye he did want to introduce
Aye he did want to introduce me when we first met and all that but I said I didn't think it was right. Not at least until he knows I will be someone who is there for the foreseeable future. I won't be meeting him for at least a couple more months as I want to be sure in myself and for his sake too.
Have to say I love your quote, it is very apt to my own thinking.