Another broken promise, did I do the right thing?
The BM kept changing the days that my BF can have his kids, I got tired of it so he promised he wouldn't let her switch the days anymore, he would put his foot down. Well, guess what? She did that again and he let her and when I confronted him, he told me he couldn't keep that promise to me but he loved me. How can anyone love someone yet keep breaking their promises to them (this was not the first time he broke his promise to me)? I got so upset that I told him I was leaving him. He tried to put that on me by saying that "if this is what you want, I want you to be happy." I said "No, don't put that on me, it was your choice, you made your choice to break your promise." I am still in shock, I am not sure if I did the right thing, did I do the right thing?
Only you can decide if it is
Only you can decide if it is the right thing or not.
A promise is a promise. He is showing you that BM's feelings matter more than yours. I, personally, would not be able to take that. I took a lot of stuff from my DH but him treating BM better than me was NOT one of those things!
"if this is what you want, I
"if this is what you want, I want you to be happy."
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If he wanted you to be happy, he would keep his promises to you. That makes me mad, you did nothing wrong and he's trying to spin it like he's the good guy. Don't let him do that. A promise is a promise, he broke his word and without his word what does he have, nothing.
So Sorry this is happening, but he is showing you who he is. Believe him!!
I am so sorry that you are
I am so sorry that you are going through this hell. It's not fair in any way. The only positive I see is that you let him know that you will not let him run all over you and stuck to it. That you deserve better than that! Otherwise, can you imagine what it would have been like if you were married....especially if you already had kids together. But... I'm sorry that you are dealing with him not respecting you and tehn trying to blame you for it all. He needs to own up to it and make changes or YES! you did the right thing!
Thanks for everyone's
Thanks for everyone's support. I am so upset and mad right now that I don't even know where I am going or what I should do. He knew he was wrong but he kept defending himself saying that he's not perfect, people fail sometimes and that I should keep looking for that "perfect" man. Am I being unreasonable? Sometimes he made me feel like I wa the unreasonable one and sometimes I even think maybe he's right, maybe I should be more understanding. I am hurt that he said I didn't care about anyone else's feelings but my own. Soon2BStepmomKY, you described him to a T except the "not ready for a serious relationship" part that I am not sure since he kept saying he would give me a ring once I was okay with his situation. But now I guess he's ready for me to go so he doesn't have to fight with the ex anymore. I guess I should look for a place to stay for the coming weekend.
You have some real good
You have some real good points there that I should consider. Since I posted yesterday, after his kids went home last night, I left him a note asked him to give me a date that I have to move out (I moved across the country for him so I needed time to pack my stuff whether to put up for storage or into a new place). He told me this morning that he didn't want me to go, maybe he just didn't understand promises, and that he believed we could work it out because we were happy when we were alone together. He said he would talk to me later since he had to go to work. I am going to bring up what you said here. You are right, this is OUR life situation, not just his, he's not single anymore, he has me he needs to consider. He needs to make the situation okay for us, not to wait for me to be okay with whatever it is. I will see what his response is. If he still refused to get it, then my path would be clear.
You did the right thing now
You did the right thing now go find a man without children.
My ex fiancee used the same
My ex fiancee used the same language - that I had to be ok with his situation. That if this is what I want he wants me to be happy . We also had problems with the changing times of picks up and drops off. His daughter will text and show up whenever she felt like and then go whenever she wanted or suited the schedule of her mother. He would just sit and wait to be informed when and how he can pick her up. My feelings did not matter much and obviously they never did. I left almost 2 years ago. I stayed with him for 3 1/2 years. Please, find yourself a man with a compassionate loving heart who not only wants you to understand him but also understands you and cares about your feelings. Now he has found a girlfriend that understands his situation and baby momma drama well and navigates it all perfect. I am so glad he finally found that person in his life.
There are no perfect people but there are people that one can communicate with , negotiate and compromise and there are those that you cannot do that with.
Think hard about the lessons from this relationship and you will be amazed at what you will discover for yourself.