Am I Overreacting?

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I was out finishing christmas shopping, some of which included buying gifts for his 7yrold daughter. i called him while i was out shopping and told him what i was getting her and asked if she already had it or what she would like. anyway, i come home and he is hanging xmas lights on the house. so i stand and watch and chitchat with him outside, mainly i'm not feeling too good, bad headache. then a car i don't recognize pulls up to the house. it's a brand new car, ironically the same make/model I've been shopping for myself. he says it's his kid's mom dropping off the daughter. i say oooh right? confused.

apparently, AGAIN as always, he is deciding his schedule and time and has decided to have his daughter spend the night, it's normally not his night. he doesn't tell me any of his plans. ever.(we didn't have any prior plans but i believe it's the principle of the matter how we do not communicate at all and his past life seems to still be all about him/his kid/his ex) i stand outside for another few minutes....as tears well up in my eyes and i tell him i can't do this anymore. he doesn't tell me anything, and he certainly doesn't act like a partner to me. hell, recently he, i, and his daughter went to a dealership to shop for a new car for me (mine is on the brink of breaking down/old car/several problems with it) the whole time he stood off to the side and played with his daughter, juggling a toy and entertaining her. he didn't once speak to the sales people with me, or help negotiate. it was as if i was there alone. i felt pretty hurt. another example of how i don't believe he respects me or cares about me in the way a man should care about his woman: i have had vertigo on and off the past few months and i have had to miss a lot of work. i couldn't get out of bed some days, i couldn't walk, i would throwup when i attempted to. it was the worst thing i've ever experienced, and i had never had it before and I didn't know WHY i suddenly had it. anyway, he didn't even ONCE google my symptoms or condition, or try to help me. my family rushed over to the house to help me because they thought something was seriously wrong with me. when they came over he continued to play with his daughter and ignore the situation, no acknowledgement of my family rushing in and giving me meds, and soups and such. NOTHING.

we are both 30yrsold. and have been together for 5yrs. he normally has his daughter EOW but he changes schedules often and has her more. why am i not respected as the other adult in this situation? why don't i take any precedence? i feel like I should just leave this situation already because it's not right. it doesn't feel right in my gut. or am i going insane here or..?

*******I would like to add.

*******I would like to add. After this happened, i started crying. I went into the bedroom and just started sobbing. About 15min later he opens the bedroom door and says I flip out over nothing. I tell him i'm leaving him because he does not show me the resepct a man who cares about a woman shows, and that i'm so tired of it. he then says, well neither one of are serious or respect eachother so it's not just me. then he goes to open the front door to let 3 of his loser friends into the house. (again, i have no clue about the plans he makes!) i don't even like his friends who are in their 30's who still live at home with their parents and do nothing but party. anyway, he lets them in and starts the bbq and cracks a beer and laughs with them while i stay in the bedroom, crying, and torn apart. I hate this life, i hate this lifestyle. it's as if I don't exist in my own home. it's like i have no rights/no say.

The man just said he does not

The man just said he does not respect you. He keeps showing that he means it. If he doesn't respect you, there's no way he loves you. Time to move on.

Yeah, I'm sorry, but you

Yeah, I'm sorry, but you gotta get out. You don't say that you're married; I'm hoping you aren't. I'm 43 and have many more disastrous years ahead of you and I hope you trust us all when we say that you need to move on. I would even go stay with family if necessary before finding a place. Good luck!

So sorry you are going thru

So sorry you are going thru this. It hurts so much when someone we thought loved us does not even show concern when we are in such pain.
This guy does not love you like you need to be loved. You have been together five years and are not on the same page on basic stuff like visitation schedule or even visitors to your home.

Face it...he is just not that into you. Get the book "He's just not that into you"...the movie is ok, but read the book first. It is not a long book and is an ok read even if you are not into reading much.
You cannot change him, you can only change your reaction to the situation.

Decide what you what and go make it happen. Write your own story.

The only thing a bad man can do is keep a good man away.

It is not the end of the world, just time for a new chapter in your life.

Peace and many blessings to you.

I hope you got the vertigo

I hope you got the vertigo thing taken care of. I had several attacks a couple of years ago and they were horrible. You almost can't function on your own. I self diagnosed as meniere's disease - but I didn't have all of the symptoms. The Doctor said they were silent migraines. Not surprising since my Mom and Sister have had migraines all their lives. He gave me anti-nausea meds to have just in case. They seem to have resolved on their own.

As to your situation - leave. He seems to disrespect you in many ways and you deserve better.

Far from insane or

Far from insane or overreacting your mind, heart, and health are all telling you the same thing. You are young and have a full life ahead of you if you will take it by the horns and ride it for all it is worth. The stress and disrespect that your uncaring SO perpetrates in your life is obviously having adverse impact on your health and emotional well being.

Buy your new car, move on with your life, and leave this toxic man and his failure to deliver on your relationship far behind you. Rather than leave you may consider calling a locksmith and getting the locks rekeyed. Putting this asshole on the curb would be a good first step at the ultimate revenge which is living your life to the fullest. Living well truly is the ultimate revenge against a toxic X. In my case my my adulterous cavern crotched whore of an XW went on to spawn 3 out of wedlock children by two different donors, another divorce, a third apparently unhappy marriage, and along with her family was sued for fraud and embezzlement and she is now on the hook for a multiple $7 figure settlement while her felon mother (my XMIL) sits in federal prison following her conviction.

On the other hand my amazing bride and I recently celebrated our 20th anniversary with a huge vow renewal/wedding with our friends and family at a beautiful vineyard near my bride’s hometown. Occasionally my phone rings with an update from an old friend who recently has run into my XW or an XIL. When I hear the updates on my XW’s and XIL’s latest life failures I just shake my head, smile, and get back to my incredible life though I do quite enjoy my awesome revenge. }:) }:) }:)

A life partner of character and quality puts the commitment first in their life. It is the priority as is the partner to that commitment. It comes before kids, work, extended family, everything. If a man in your life cannot live that commitment to you then move on and find a man who can. I won't say that you should limit your future potential partners only to those without spawn but it does mitigate much of the risk of a repeat of your current relationship.

Take care of yourself.

First of all I hope you feel

First of all I hope you feel better from the vertigo--that is a horrible thing. I think you need to start looking for a place to live for yourself. You are 30 years old which is a great age to be single! I guarantee you will have more dates than you can possibly manage. You are young and you have no kids--go live your life!

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