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Advise needed

rachel b's picture

Submitted by rachel b on Wed, 07/24/2013 - 2:28pm

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Bio Child Free Zone

Hi all. This is my first post, a great way to vent with out being a wingebag!!
I moved in with my bf about 9 months ago. He has 2 kids, 6, a boy and a girl 5. Great kids, well settled now. Thing is we have them Mon eve for a few hours, wed eve and night, i take them to school thurs morning, fri eve right through to sun night or mon morning, i work full time so does bf. Kids mother doesn't work. am i being unreasonable to ask for a break? how do i approach subject with tact and be to the point???
Please help, advise very much appreicated.

surfchica's picture

Submitted by surfchica on Wed, 07/24/2013 - 3:20pm

It really depends on the type of bf you have. Is he open to discussion? Is he open to hearing your feelings? Does he care about your feelings? If you answered yes to these questions, then I suggest bearing your soul but in a tactful way. Don't overload him with too much. Get right to the point. Pick out three things that bug you. Your need for a break is worth of anyone in the same situation. If he really loves you and cares about you, he will make it happen. If this goes pear shaped, you might have to reconsider your relationship with this man. Sorry to say. Read the other posts here. You don't want a lifetime of hell.

Jellybeam's picture

Submitted by Jellybeam on Wed, 07/24/2013 - 10:40pm

So you have the kids every day except Tuesday and Thursday every week? If so, that's bullsh*t. If the mom only has the kids at bedtime on Monday, all day Tuesday and Thursday and at bedtime on Sunday, why can't you guys work out something more sensible. That's too much back and forth for small children and too much shifting gears for you. Would be better if the BM's days were all in a row and how nice for her that she has EVERY weekend free and you guys have zero weekends free.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 07/25/2013 - 7:16am

Map out the calendar and sit down with your BF and show him graphically what the situation is. Suggest an EOWE with Wed overnights or EOW visitation/custody schedule. There is no reason why BM should have a break every weekend. You can equalize parenting time without either parent being taken advantage of. Then push for a visitation hearing in court.

Your situation is exactly why non custodial Sparents have it much easier than custodial Sparents.

IMHO of course.

Good luck.

rachel b's picture

Submitted by rachel b on Sat, 07/27/2013 - 3:40pm

Thanks all so much for advise. Spoke to bf, really had to spell it out, but he got it in the end. Kids going to spend every other weekend with mother, woo hoo. Really looking forward to spending time with bf..

Thanks again, very much appreciated