Wife drinks, smokes up, falls and almost dies over Abusive SS disinheritance issue
Thanks to all who shared their valuable advice and experience with me; I really appreciate it and it helps me to see I'm not crazy in wanting to leave inheritance money only to the SS who has always treated me with respect, and not to the disrespectful, abusive stepson. The latest development is that things have gotten much worse; after I had the discussion with my wife, about the possibility of leaving some of my inheritance money to the nice SS only, asking her why he should suffer because of his jerk of a brother (she said I should leave money either to both of them or neither of them), she went and drank and smoked up, fell down, hit her head, developed a subdural hematoma, and ended up having brain surgery. She almost died. Her kids had to fly in, and the jerk of a stepson I detest was here for 3 whole weeks, visiting almost every day. The nice SS came also, but his presence I enjoyed. My wife and the rotten SS and his youngest spawn would go for cozy morning walks down in the botannical gardens near us as she recuperated and I stayed at home. I stayed home willingly because he always edges me out of their cozy little relationship, but I still ended up eating my heart out. I'm at my rope's end. This has been the summer from hell. Now I'm taking care of her all the time, and this issue is still before us, only much more intense than before. She seems to feel that, if only I could "get over" my anger at son, everything would be OK. I feel really screwed up over this. Just need to vent. We're seeing a therapist, but after our last session she said she's not well enough to do this work. Great. So I'm seeing the therapist alone. I feel crazy. Is it me???? Did I drive her to this? Or does she have over-identification issues with this jackass of a son? Any advice is deeply appreciated.
ยป
Thankyou Luvmypuppy!
Thankyou Luvmypuppy!
Earl, the last time that you
Earl, the last time that you posted ... I thought that since it's your $$/assets you have the right to leave it to whomever you want. Doesn't matter what it is.
I hope you spend everything. What you don't spend, please divide between SS who has treated you well consistently over the years and your favorite charity. You "owe" your dysfunctional DW, slacker SS and any hangers-on absolutely nothing.
Guess what? You're not going to be around to hear them 'kvetch.'
Because DW and I have shared
Because DW and I have shared absolutely everything and have had a fantastic relationship except for this Skid and things have gotten worse with time not better. We have shared our accounts completely and did a will together in the past where I left equal amounts to the two boys. But we've had to do a new will for reasons unrelated to the abusive Skid, which is why I brought up the topic with her at all
Hi Wicked thanks for your
Hi Wicked thanks for your concern. I think you are right, as a couple others have said, about never discussing this again. It just feels so wrong with a DW with whom I have shared everything except our absolutely polarized feelings about this Skid. But I think I'm beginning to see what people mean. Thanks again!
I do not agree with this at
I do not agree with this at all.
"IMO your job as a husband is to look out for the interests of your wife. She loves both her sons. She is the Mama of both of them. Expecting her to be cool with one of them being left out in a significant way is not truly loving your wife but making everyone in the family dance to the tune of your dollar."
Uh NO, IMO your job as a husband AND WIFE is to look out for the interests of each other and if she lets her son disrespect you WHY IN THE WORLD would YOU leave the little shi* any money??
Being left out is the problem in today's society, no one gets left out any more, everyone is special. That is not the case for how I run my life, I do not reward bad behavior; period. NO----do not leave him any money, and at the rate you are going with that crazy wife you might not have to leave her any money, she obviously likes things just the way they are.
She has created quite the distraction to the issue hasn't she?
Thanks Stepped in What for
Thanks Stepped in What for your thoughts; I really appreciate it!
Went through the same thing
Went through the same thing EarlJ. AT first, my wife wasn't understanding but I am leaving at least a quarter of everything to my daughter and a bit to SS. Just a token amount. I have since changed another plan to an extra quarter to my daughter. No one has to know as I will be gone after the face. She understood the difference as I told her if his father won the lottery, would our daughter get anything?
This is exactly why the
This is exactly why the contents of a will should remain unknown until "the reading," which happens AFTER the person is deceased.
OP, considering your history with the steps, I'm not sure what you were expecting. Personally, I've learned to keep my mouth shut about jerk ss30 unless there is an immediate issue that needs to be addressed, otherwise I don't bring him into our relationship space. In your case the damage is already done, but in the future you may want to refrain from openly excluding one of your wives children. If you're going to cut someone out of the will, just do it, don't broadcast the fact.