Before I begin I want to thank you for taking the time to read my post and just let me vent.

DH was a widow for four years before we started dating, I was his first date. His former wife was an alcoholic for fifteen years prior to her death. From what I understand life was a roller coaster ride at best. Family members have all stated that DH and SD were a close unit and BM and SS were a separate unit within the house.

SS never wanted DH to date which I accept because I know that his issues are not with me. SD always pretended to like me and be an advocate for us dating. At the time she lived out of state with her husband and children. When SD decided to move back to the area she told me that she didn't want her father to have to choose between us. At the time I said nothing to her as I was shocked, why would he have to choose? I am the girlfriend and she the daughter, two different relationships. I asked DH what she may have meant and he said he didn't know but I should ask her. Months later when she moved back, I asked her what she meant by her statement. She started crying hysterically, her husband and DH came running to see what was the matter and as you can guess I became the terrible person.

Fast forward two years, DH and I marry, SS tells DH he will not stand up for DH at the wedding but he does attend and SD participates at the wedding service. SD proceeds to get drunk during the reception and makes a mess of herself. Months later she apologized for making a scene and ruining our day.

DH and I have been married three years now, during that time he has rescued SD more times than I can write about. A year ago she decided she wanted a divorce, which DH was fine with as he never liked
her husband. DH said he would do what it took to see that it happened. SD called DH four or five times a day during the worst of it,telling DH every blow by blow thing that happened or that was said. You could see how disturbed DH was and I believe it has been a major part of his stress issues. DH was not happy with me because I said that there were things that SD should not be telling him, some things should remain private or told to a close friend (she shared with everyone but me) or with a counselor. At one point, when we were away for the weekend, she had called four times within two hours. I later suggested that maybe he not answer the phone every time and he said "and make her feel as though she's not important?"

During this time DH has had two major health problems as well as a recent minor surgery. I personally feel that her drama and stress added to some of his issues. Anyway, she continues to be needy and DH continues to bail her out. He was paying her mortgage until recently when he purchased her house so that she would have a place to live. When I asked him why she didn't sell the house and buy something she could afford his response was "and have her live in a townhouse or apartment." Very good people live in townhouses, just ask my children because they live in them because they can't afford a huge home like she has. SD also wanted another car and because of the pending divorce she did not qualify so DH co-signed.

Last night while DH and I were taking a walk he was becoming breathless and had to stop and take a break. He told me that he had problems breathing the day before when he rode his bike. We continued our walk when his phone rings. Yes, it's SD asking him to come over because she purchased furniture and needed him to move it from who she bought it from to her house. When he got off the phone I suggested SD boyfriend help her but DH said that he didn't have a truck. Sorry, a lame excuse.

Today he left work to move the furniture for SD. I asked him why she was in such a hurry and DH said that the lady she bought it from wanted it out of her house and SD needed it badly. I asked what room the furniture was for because last time I was there she had furniture in every one of the nine rooms and basement. The rush was to have furniture in the sitting room off the bedroom! OMG I was livid at the fact that one, he is not well and two, she had to have DH move it and do so now. I said that she should learn to walk before she runs and the fact that she has five bedrooms full of furniture was more than most people have. He, of course, came to her defense again because she can't be without anything.

Thankfully, I have a therapy appointment tomorrow so I can spew it all out of me again like an exorcism. I'm at wits end, I love DH and don't want to be a widow but I fear that as her needs become greater his stress level will increase and his health become worse.

I'm sorry that I've rambled for so long I just needed to get off my chest and knew most of you would understand how I felt being in a triangulation relationship with DH, SD mini wife and myself. I just have to learn to keep my mouth shut but it's difficult when I see that DH health is suffering.