Two-and-a-half years later
Things with SD came to an ugly head a few years ago when SD literally told DH to choose! This after 15 years of abuse from her experienced by both of us, but me especially. Also 15 years of her trying to break up our marriage. I walked over to a neighbor's while they had the private talk she insisted on--again no support from DH. Then a miracle happened. I saw her car leave. Our lives changed at that moment. I knew that DH was done. Shortly after that scene, we sold everything, put all assets in both of our names with survivorship, and moved 2000 miles away. I wake up in gratitude every morning. I don't think of SD at all now. We are over. DH is doing better starting last week. He called SD after a year and she didn't pick up, text, or call back. He told me that it was his last attempt. We both are at peace now. His conflicted heart has settled into enjoying the peace in our lives now. It took us years to arrive at this place. I wish the same peace from toxicity to everyone on this forum. You all supported me in my darkest hours and years. I feel like a miracle happened for us (me.)
It was a hard road
2,000 miles away. Thank goodness your at peace. Just remember you, we all have a bit of PTSD from all of this
I'm Happy For You!
There IS life after stephell. My DH are in a similar situation, and have been No Contact with his eldest for over thirteen years. We didn't move, though; in fact, she lives only six miles away.
People on the outside might judge, but it's important to note this is for our PROTECTION. Savor that hardwon peace, OP.
Congratulations! I'm happy
Congratulations! I'm happy for you! Whew!
It’s sad to do this
But you deserve a life of your own. You don't need to have a SK control your life Hope your new home is great abd you have a full fun life.
Congrats! This is a happy
Congrats! This is a happy ending. I have a similar thing happening - after years of problems, boundaries being broken, blantant disrespect and disregard - we moved. Moving away was incredible. It built peace and allowed for healing. I also wake up everyday thanking my lucky stars for the turn of events. DH still misses SKIDs from time to time and I try to just be there for him but there is not a single bone in my body that misses their behavior and treatment of us, especially me. It's an incredible feeling when you get to the other side. I actively encourage DH to do things with the SKIDs but I don't want involvement. I don't even feel one bit like I am missing out - they don't get together very often but when they do I see it as my time to craft and have fun. It's a little vacation for me and I also get a kick out of seeing him anticipate the reunion. Ironically, after the reunion the excitment is worn off and he seems extremely grateful to be back home. Not sure what goes on? I never ask. :)
Distance is one of the best
Distance is one of the best lines of defense against toxic family and people in general.
Not by design, we have had that line of defense since even before there was an us. My DW left SpermLand with a toddler on her hip to attend university out of State. That is where we met when my SS-32 was 15mos old. We married the week before he turned 2yo.
We never lived nearer than 1200 miles to SpermLand/DW's home town.
Our CO was issued by a SpermLand court 4 days after our wedding. The CO was another key line of defense that when rolled up and applied firmly when striking the SpermClan about the head and shoulders kept them in line. For the most part.
We never had the challenge of the ultimatum from the Skid. We raised him together and blessedly he would never overstep like so many of the noxious spawn SKids will do.
Enjoy living your best lives together. Hopefully DH does not go down the sewer pipe of reaching out to his noxious failed family kidult spawn ever again.
Yes!
Savor that 'miracle'! Many blessings to you and your husband!
Similar peace here. DH hasn't
Similar peace here. DH hasn't seen his kids for about three years. He does speak to SS every few weeks. SD fancies herself the victim.
DH gets mopey about it sometimes. But he doesn't call or try to arrange a visit. And I'm not the cruise director for this ghost ship.
"And I'm not the cruise
"And I'm not the cruise director for this ghost ship."
Isn't it a relief to stop being the failed family repair lady? If working on the relationship isn't important enough for our DH's then why should it be important to us? It's amazing how when we step away the burden falls off of us and, rightfully, back onto the back of the bio parent.
I hope my DH gets to this point. He has put some effort into working on his relationship with SD's but I think it's too little too late. Best to cut ties.