My wife and I have been together about five years. We been married two this past july first. I would consider our time together to have been pretty great until about a year or so ago. the I have no children and she has three. We rented a 4 bedroom house so they can each have their own bedrooms and have their own space. Not cheap at all for our income. Youngest one we'll call "M", shes 17 and seems to be the one that got herself together the best out of the three. There's not many if even any issues with her to this point thank god. She has an older sis thats 21 and pregnant we'll call her "V". Then the oldest is a boy whos 22 we'll call him "E". The two older siblings are the ones who have turned into real young adult GEMS. I will post about them because each one is its own challenge within a challenge. When they both graduated high school my wife and I told them that as long as they live with us they have to go to college (preferably) or get full time jobs and help financially or a combo of both. They both attended college and dropped out after a year or so...Fuck it school isn't for everybody my wife and I thought. So of course they both get these shit jobs that hardly pay and my wife and I try to let them keep there money as much as we can to a fault so they can save for a car or to aid them in starting their own independent lives. We get E a car with help from his school grants which he still owns and isn't going to last him because he's ridden the hell out of it...U know first car and all. V when she had a job spent all of her money on her deadbeat boyfriend who likes cocaine, cheated, and possibly has gotten violent with her according to a confession she made to her cousin who tells us about that conversation they had like two months after the fact. We'll def get back to V later. Fact is that they both have just pissed their money away and have nothing to show for it and ever hardly contributed financially. Unfortunately thier mother has health issues that while non life threatening as long as they're monitored, however, it requires her to be hospitalized from time to time. She has hed to go through a couple procedures and surgeries however that can be risky and there have been multiple times when only the youngest daughter has been the only one out of the three even to call her at the hospital to see how their mother is doing.
Her older brother "E" is easy to figure out. He comes in and out as he pleases, is a slob and pig even for being 20 something year old male unlike anything I have ever seen before. E is an asshole. He is obnoxious socially which makes me wonder how he even has friends. We really can't go with him anywhere without him embarassing us or himself. He has no respect for his mothe ronly when she's seriously on his shit and yelling at him for being such a consistent asshole. He's very timid when I speak to him though he knows I'm not his mother and I'm like 6'3 and he's like 5'5 so beating his ass doesn't solve anything and probably gets ne arrested so thats not an option. The only time he even calls his mom is to see if she made him dinner while he's out playing or dicking around with his friends. He treats his two sisters like they're obligated to do shit him around the house when he does interact with them. I try not to get too involved with him because my solution would be one that would be considered too harsh for my wife and then I'm the bad guy that makes her have to choose between a man and her children. He's 22 and acts like he's old enough to be hanging out and doing as he wishes in the world so it seems to me he needs to start becoming his own man way from home. My wife and I have spoken of this scenario and thought it would be best to give him enough of a timeline to get his affairs in order and go. Oh how we will miss the dirty laundry that he piles in his room for months (when his grandma or mom don't clean his room for him) dirty dishes and cups and dont forget the half filled spit chew bottles that sit for weeks on end in his room that you can smell when u walk in the front door to our home. And at least we have a plan for him.....if only it was so easy for the middle daughter.
The middle daughter "V" is a very complex case unfortunately. V actually seemed that even though she dropped out of college she was ambitious about working and having her own money. She is a pretty young girl who would always have boys wanting her attention but she woud never let them interfere with what she wanted for herself as a person if that makes any sense until........ My wife and I never really were able to warm up to V's new boyfriend he always seemed distant and out of it, but we figured hopefully she grow out of him in time. We always thought it was odd how the only time he would see V is when we drove her to his house about half hour away. It was usually an issue when he would have to make the trip. I would tell my wife to stop taking her up there but her daughters pleas outweighed my recommendations again as usual. V eventully got pregnant about six months now by a BOY who she thinks the world of and he has her wrapped around his finger and does pretty much anything and everything he wants with her. At the time V was working and she started asking her extended family for some money to buy a car that her bf new someone selling a car cheap. She even got money from an ex of my wife's who wasn't their biological father but had bonded with them while he was with my wife through their more impressionable younger years. But my wife split with him and a few years later we met so the rest is history. Met him once....nice guy, lives in Puerto Rico, not a threat in my eyes. So she was successful in pulling together about a grand after all. She gets a car and brings it home. she takes it to her bf's house about a week later so he can "work" on it. Even though I checked the car out myself and am more knowledgeable than he is and offered to help with anything/everything I could. So that was odd I thought. So one day about 9 months ago my wife gets that phone call from her neice whom her daughter confides in. As I mentioned before her cousin made us aware of his drug habits and how he intimidates her. When her cousin told my wife, my wife calls me at work sobbing asking for my help. I recieved that phone call at work and told my boss I had an issue at home that I would be back later on that day. Apparently she also told us that the car she bought was "given" to her bfs mom because she really liked it although her family paid for it. I come home and my my wife and stepdaugher were sitting on the couch when I asked what exactly was going on then V proceeded to try the whole that her cousin was full of shit and lying defense which I promptly called her on it with a raised voice because she was covering up for that scumbag who had been taking advantage of her naive ass from the get go. She Jumps up off her seat yells back at me that I wasn't anyone to tell her shit and that she didn't have to listen to anything I had to say about anything and that her bf wouldn't do that because he loves her then storms into her room. My wife and I go outside and try going to the police about her bf but that was a waste of time. Then we get back home and we can hear V talking on the phone to her "dad" in Puerto Rico about that if I knew what was good for me that I needed to back the hell away from her and that I was going to find out what it was like to go through a hard time if I didn't......now this leaves alot open for interpertetion but what leverage could a little 5' and 100lb little girl have over a 6'3" 300 lbs grown ass man? I wonder....not really cuz she could say anything to the police and play the victim role just to prove a point and accuse me of any sick made up shit that she wants then maybe after a few years I can clear my name of that sick disgusting shit that never took place to begin with....I mean really how low could she fucking get????????? I never even raised my voice at any of them and I realize I'm not their dad and give them their space. All I do is provide for them and wind up basically with no money to spend on myself so we can pay all these fucking bills. And the worst part is that all this shit took place in front of my wife and she never has stuck up for me with this little fuck till this day!!!!! I understand thats her daughter and the whole the Fight or flight response and my wifeis not the violent type.....but man WTF!!!!! Now V is without a job because she got fired again and prego laying around the house not doing shit. She apparently has no plans whatsoever of living with this asshole, im sure thats his choice though. V is having to use my car btw cuz she needs to get to her dr appointments and her bf left her without a car (whom she still of course is seeing).
How hopeless is this situation? I hate coming home sometimes and feel like I have no control in my own house and I have had to have that talk about our marraige to my wife. V seems to be perfectly content to place the burden of this grandchild on her mom and let her scumbag bf just fill in whenever he chooses if at all. I always thought babies were a blessing but this girls a little monster who is going to use her baby to use, and abuse her mom who is knowingly being taken advantage of. Since the incident with V I have to walk on eggshells at home and it feels like 2/3 of the children at my house that as long as let them do what they want they WILL ALLOW me to pay the majority of the bills at home for them. I love my wife but it feels like these little jerks don't give a shit if she's happy and they definitely showed me they don't give a shit about me