Are you sure the gift was from stepson? Would DH have purchased it and told stepson he was giving it to you as a peace offering? The only thank you I can even consider is "Thank you for the gesture however I don't generally accept gifts from someone who has tried to harm me physically and has told lies about me. If you'd like to discuss how we got to this point, I am willing. Otherwise I prefer no contact."

If DH doesn't like it, too bad. SS tried to HIT you during a formal event with many witnesses. No excuse for that. Hard to believe DH doesn't get that. I am so sorry for your troubles.

Show common courtesy to an asshole. That's a goon one!

Common courtesy would be for him to apologize and if not that, to at least give you the card/gift personally. He gave it to his dad so he wouldn't have to face you and own up to what he did, but he can now claim he tried to make amends and you shut him down. Chicken Shit!

Dear SS,
Common courtesy is not abusing your guests. Common courtesy is not being obscene in front of your new family. Your apology will be accepted when you apologise in front of all the people who witnessed your disgusting behaviour. Maybe your were drunk and cannot remember the vitriolic spew your yelled at your father and me. I pray no one EVER speaks to your wife like that because I AM someone's wife.

SM

Not sure who was sitting next who at the wedding. If SS asked your BS to move so SS could sit next to his dad during the wedding I don't find that unreasonable.

As for the rest of it ..... :jawdrop:

If I had been your husband I would have beat the rude POS kid of mine nearly to death for laying a hand on my wife and kept beating him each and every time he opened his mouth with anything put profuse appologies humbly given in front of every wedding guest.

As for your DH's comment on common courtesy regarding expressing thanks to your SS and his immature idiot of a bride ..... he can phuck off too! Time for daddy to treat his adult son (your SS) as a man would treat any other man that insulted his wife. Time for daddy to knock Jr's teeth down the back of his throat followed by a long clarity session on how SS will behave in the future.

If your DH is having this much trouble with dealing with his hell spawn of an asshole eldest son it is time for DH to GET THE PHUCK OUT!!!!

I am 48 years old and had I behaved as your SS does I would never have lived to be this old. My parents would have killed me. For that matter, if I behaved as your SS does at my age now my parents would still put me in my place in no uncertain and very unpleasant terms.

I am severly disappointed in your DH for tolerating this crap from your SS and the fact that he has failed to hold his spawn accountable and to rectify this example in a way that sends a clear message to your 10yo (I assume your DH is the biodad of both SS-28 and your son).

Were I you I would tell your DH that SS-28 nor his wife will ever enter or be welcome in YOUR home until your DH steps up as a man and a father and gives SS-28 absolute clarity on how he will behave, appologize and respect YOU, your DH and his younger brother for the duration of the rude unmanly 26yo POS's life and that DH had better man up and fix this so that YOUR son does not have to see his father immasculated by his older brother.

As a man I am appalled by your SS-26 and by your husband in this situation.

This just pisses me off to no end. Your DH and SS-26 make we wanna :sick:

Sorry for the rant and I am sorry you and your 10yo have had to experience this.

My post was going to be just like Rags. My DH is a total wuss where SS is concerned. ButI know for a fact that if SS did something like that to me...DH would have given the boy a beat down. Shame on your DH.

Sorry but your DH is the one at fault here. Your SS attacked you unprovoked. Shame on your husband for allowing it. I would have left on this one....

He is lucky as hell you didn't. But, I would make it clear that your SS is not welcome in your life. DH can see him, but you do not have to.

I would return the "gift" that he wasn't mature enough to give you personally, and stay away from him totally! He is a very unsafe person to be around!

Put a restraining order out against him if he keeps bothering you!

If this person wasn't your stepson, would you allow such a person to be anywhere near you - or give you gifts? No way!

You have a right to protect yourself from such an abusive jerk - even in he is your stepson!

All of that because you got up from the table? He sounds fvcking MENTAL. Why didn't your DH stick up for you? I'm angry, and I don't even know you.

((((( hugs )))))

Please tell me this @ss isn't in your life anymore.

My SS is also 28, I would be absolutely livid. I think you showed a great deal of patience in this and are much more forgiving than I could be. I don't get what is going thru these kids' heads and how they think it is okay to treat anyone like this. Sounds like someone needed to sense knocked into him long ago.

My husband and I have been together 23 years, husband had custody of his sons which I ended up raising and at first everything was good but as soon as we told them we were getting married it became a war zone and it never got better. 28 SS had this idea that no one could tell him what to do and he had to abide by no one's rules. He was full of lies and self-pity. I really gave it my all for many many years, tried to understand the boys, forgave and kept moving on hoping that one day this would all come together and be worth it but instead I finally got to a point, 2 years ago, where I drew my boundaries and said, "no more!"

Thank goodness my husband understands. I feel husband's family still blames me and sees me as the problem but what I can say is they never walked even a half mile in my shoes. Had they been thru what I had with my SS they would never have anything to do with thm either.

It really bites my backside how families take sides in step families and don't allow the family to be a family unit. It is like the family feels that in some way you are going to harm their beloved blood family and they have blinders on (denial) and think anything their blood does is just peachy and we have to find love, compassion and understanding for them. What about us?

We are not to be rolled over like a piece of trash and stomped on to make someone else feel good, are we? It is just crazy insane what happens in step families. Only way I have been able to save myself from it was to walk away from it all, the boys as well as my husband's family. They don't understand and they don't care to see anything from my perspective.