No of course they do not have the right to claim an inheritance while your DH is still alive. There is no inheritance to claim until a person is d-e-a-d. Sometimes kids just suck.

If my kids treated me like that, they'd be lucky if they EVER got anything from me, especially after I was dead.

They technically have NO rights unless HE gives it to them. Technically speaking, your DH could leave his entire estate to Dog Town & while they are allowed to contest, it may not do them any good.

They sound like asses & as Goodbye said, they'd be lucky to receive ANYTHING from me. If I were your DH, I'd be re-writing my will so fast it would make their head spin...anybody would be FAR more grateful than his ingrate kids!

Spend everything and enjoy it. There is no law that says you have to give your children money when you die. My parents arent they are enjoying their life. Taking trips around the world and living. That is what you and you husband should do. Speaking of witch skip christmas next year and go on a cruse. Their is no law that says you have to give gifts. You could switch religons and be Johavs (sp?) Witness then you cant do birthdays or christmas.....sorry my horns are showing...

Their father's money, assets, etc., are exactly that THEIR FATHER'S ASSETS. It is not their inheritance, it is their father's money and they have no RIGHTS to it whether their father be dead or alive, it is a privellage, not a right and it is THEIR NOTHING. The absolute cheek of them asking for "their" inheritance. It is not theirs in any way shape or form, it is their father's to do with as he pleases. If he wishes to cash everything in and scatter it to the winds he has the right to do so. I hope your husband leaves anything he has to a cat home if he chooses. I would give these greedy pigs nothing. I am appalled they would ask for it. He should be ashamed of the way they have been brought up and if he is part of that upbringing then he hopefully is ashamed of himself too. This is too shocking for words. They sound like very spoilt want for nothing brats with an over inflated sense of entitlement.

Probate laws are different in every state. In most states when a spouse dies without leaving a will the property automatically goes to the surviving spouse, period. Kids get nothing. They can be asses and take their mom/dad/steps to court but everything comes down to the estate laws for that specific state.

And kids aren't "entitled" to squat. If you leave every dime you own to your cat, that's your business. As long as all the legal documents are in place and properly filed, they can't do anything. I have heard that sometimes you specifically need to mention children you wish to disinherit, maybe will them $1.00, but an estate lawyer is the best to advise you on that matter.

I can't emphasize enough, get your husband to a lawyer and get the estate matters taken care of ASAP. I've heard horror stories of bio kids utterly screwing over their steparents (and their deceased parent, technically, by utterly disrespecting the person their parent chose to marry).

My mother and both my husband's father and mother (they had been divorced a long time) died without leaving a will. Thankfully we were both only children so estate greed didn't come into the picture but let me tell you something, one of the suckiest things on the planet is being in shock and grief AND trying to make funeral arrangements while guessing what the deceased would have wanted, nevermind trying to get financial matters transitioned and straightened out.

Hell no they should not get their inheritance prior to the demise of both you and your DH. They have no rights to the resources of yours and DH's marriage at all. They only get an inheritance if you and DH say they do. You and DH decide who gets what and when and even if they get anything at all.

I have a 2nd cousin who is much like your adult Skids. She has "borrowed" tens of thousands of $ from her parents and never paid back a dime. She keeps hammering them for her "inheritance". Her younger sister, the CPA, is the executer of their estate and has informed my Aunt and Uncle that for every $ they give to the sister a $ will be given to her. Of course the responsible one puts it in a separate account and saves it in the event that her mom and dad need the resources later.

The Will has been changed to deduct all of the $ given to the older syster and her leaching DH and entitlement spawn over the years from her half of the estate. That money shifts to the younger resposible daughter. My older cousin is freaking over the rewrite of the Will.

My own parents changed their Wills recently. The old one put everything in trust with equal shares to all of their direct decendents and a lump sum ($50K) going to my SS. I have no BKs, my younger brother has 3. I have no problem with the old Will but my little brother told mom and dad that he did not feel right that he and his kids would get 4/5 of their estate because I chose to not have any children. He told them that it is his job to care for his kids and that he wanted the Will to split their estate 50/50 between he and I.

Mom and dad changed the will per his request. I am fine with that also. My parents were young when they had me (21/19) and both of their gene pools tend to live to their mid 80's to mid 90's. So, their estate will be of little use to me. Factor in that my brother is an Executive and I am a highly paid professional married to a CPA means mom and dad's estate is not needed by either of us.

We have both told them that we want them to enjoy their retirement and blow every dime they have accrued over their working careers. They live well and enjoy themselves but are not frivolous spenders.

I would suggest that if DH is bound to leave anything to his kids that you get 50% upon his passing and the other 50% goes in to a trust with you as the receiver of any income from the trust and the principle going to his kids upon your passing. That provides for you with the full resources available and keeps them out of your hair. They can have their half after you are gone and you can leave your half to whomever you wish.

Or better yet, once you are both gone leave it to the SPCA who would appreciate it far more than you characterless money grubbing Skids.

IMHO of course.

Hell no they should not get their inheritance prior to the demise of both you and your DH. They have no rights to the resources of yours and DH's marriage at all. They only get an inheritance if you and DH say they do. You and DH decide who gets what and when and even if they get anything at all.

I have a 2nd cousin who is much like your adult Skids. She has "borrowed" tens of thousands of $ from her parents and never paid back a dime. She keeps hammering them for her "inheritance". Her younger sister, the CPA, is the executer of their estate and has informed my Aunt and Uncle that for every $ they give to the sister a $ will be given to her. Of course the responsible one puts it in a separate account and saves it in the event that her mom and dad need the resources later.

The Will has been changed to deduct all of the $ given to the older syster and her leaching DH and entitlement spawn over the years from her half of the estate. That money shifts to the younger resposible daughter. My older cousin is freaking over the rewrite of the Will.

My own parents changed their Wills recently. The old one put everything in trust with equal shares to all of their direct decendents and a lump sum ($50K) going to my SS. I have no BKs, my younger brother has 3. I have no problem with the old Will but my little brother told mom and dad that he did not feel right that he and his kids would get 4/5 of their estate because I chose to not have any children. He told them that it is his job to care for his kids and that he wanted the Will to split their estate 50/50 between he and I.

Mom and dad changed the will per his request. I am fine with that also. My parents were young when they had me (21/19) and both of their gene pools tend to live to their mid 80's to mid 90's. So, their estate will be of little use to me. Factor in that my brother is an Executive and I am a highly paid professional married to a CPA means mom and dad's estate is not needed by either of us.

We have both told them that we want them to enjoy their retirement and blow every dime they have accrued over their working careers. They live well and enjoy themselves but are not frivolous spenders.

I would suggest that if DH is bound to leave anything to his kids that you get 50% upon his passing and the other 50% goes in to a trust with you as the receiver of any income from the trust and the principle going to his kids upon your passing. That provides for you with the full resources available and keeps them out of your hair. They can have their half after you are gone and you can leave your half to whomever you wish.

Or better yet, once you are both gone leave it to the SPCA who would appreciate it far more than you characterless money grubbing Skids.

IMHO of course.

Hell no they should not get their inheritance prior to the demise of both you and your DH. They have no rights to the resources of yours and DH's marriage at all. They only get an inheritance if you and DH say they do. You and DH decide who gets what and when and even if they get anything at all.

I have a 2nd cousin who is much like your adult Skids. She has "borrowed" tens of thousands of $ from her parents and never paid back a dime. She keeps hammering them for her "inheritance". Her younger sister, the CPA, is the executer of their estate and has informed my Aunt and Uncle that for every $ they give to the sister a $ will be given to her. Of course the responsible one puts it in a separate account and saves it in the event that her mom and dad need the resources later.

The Will has been changed to deduct all of the $ given to the older syster and her leaching DH and entitlement spawn over the years from her half of the estate. That money shifts to the younger resposible daughter. My older cousin is freaking over the rewrite of the Will.

My own parents changed their Wills recently. The old one put everything in trust with equal shares to all of their direct decendents and a lump sum ($50K) going to my SS. I have no BKs, my younger brother has 3. I have no problem with the old Will but my little brother told mom and dad that he did not feel right that he and his kids would get 4/5 of their estate because I chose to not have any children. He told them that it is his job to care for his kids and that he wanted the Will to split their estate 50/50 between he and I.

Mom and dad changed the will per his request. I am fine with that also. My parents were young when they had me (21/19) and both of their gene pools tend to live to their mid 80's to mid 90's. So, their estate will be of little use to me. Factor in that my brother is an Executive and I am a highly paid professional married to a CPA means mom and dad's estate is not needed by either of us.

We have both told them that we want them to enjoy their retirement and blow every dime they have accrued over their working careers. They live well and enjoy themselves but are not frivolous spenders.

I would suggest that if DH is bound to leave anything to his kids that you get 50% upon his passing and the other 50% goes in to a trust with you as the receiver of any income from the trust and the principle going to his kids upon your passing. That provides for you with the full resources available and keeps them out of your hair. They can have their half after you are gone and you can leave your half to whomever you wish.

Or better yet, once you are both gone leave it to the SPCA who would appreciate it far more than you characterless money grubbing Skids.

IMHO of course.

Skids get property and assets accumulated while DH was married to the ex (like the property in Oregon), and my kids get assets that were accumulated while DH was married to me (house and life insurance). That seems fair.

Oh grace. Honestly, this is so far over the top and out of line that at first I was stunned at their audacity, then I almost fell over laughing. Rack up the credit card debt, that will become part of the estate, spend every penny on holidays whatever you want and leave their inheritance as credit card debt. Sell everything, dig a hole in the back yard and stash your money there where they can never find it and leave them all the credit card debt. Bloody idiots

Unfortunately this is not unique to your Skids. I have a cousin who has been scalping money from her parents who are in their mid to late 80s for years. She finally played her hand and demanded her share of the estate and her kid's share of the estate after they got caught using her parent's credit cards.

Fortunately my other cousin (the younger of the two) is a CPA and the executor of the estate finally found the fraud and called the police on her own sister and her own nephew.

If your DH is struggling with this you can call an elder abuse hotline and have them engage the authorities to deal with your disgusting money grubbing Skids.

If DH is in his 70's I imagine that his children are well grown. In that case if they are acting like that, if I were him, I would consider changing my will. How rude are they? I could NOT EVER imagine asking my father for my inheritance BEFORE he passes?! I would hope my Dad lives to be 100 years old!

This reminds me of my SD19 who we dont speak to and are currently disengaged from. Long story, she turned to drugs and it damaged our family so bad. Anyways the day after she graduated high school she called DH and demanded with swear words her college money we had saved up. She said SD22 got hers and now she wants hers. Well we knew it was just going to be given to her boyfriend the asshole drug dealer who in our opinions stole our daughter from us at the age of 15. Anyways, DH told her he doesnt have it. She threw a fit and said that we spent her college money and we are horse shit parents..blah blah blah. We still have the money we just dont want her to get it until she is clean from drugs and not talking to us the way she does. Besides the money was for college or weddings and she is doing neither so she doesnt need to have the money. The way she has treated her father has been so horrendous that my DH went and had a will made. Currently she is not getting much compared to our children together and SD22. SD19 is being left with very little. DH says if SD19 changes he will change his will. He made this decision not me as i would have been equal in the shares of money upon our deaths. BUT I cant say I blame him. She hasnt shown him anything but heart ache in the last 4 years. She caused debilitating anxiety and panic for me and I struggle daily.

All I am saying is that if they are this rude to him, maybe he should consider changing his will.

I am doing just fine on my own. Even if I wasn't, I couldn't fathom asking my dad for "my inheritance." If he CHOSE to help me, that'd be different.

My Dad remarried after my Mom died. He sold our house and I moved into my stepmother's house with my Dad for a few years. Years later, Dad tells his six children that he left everything to the second wife. We love her and she's still part of our family, she's still our kids grandmother, but it just bugs the heck out of me that the things my parents saved before my Mom's death will go to her natural kids.

Her kids cleaned out my Dad's closet and possessions. Dad told us to not ask or do anything so none of the six of us did, yet it's heartbreaking that none of us can have my grandmother's hope chest or dressing table. That the frame I gave my Mom with pictures of us that Dad kept in his closet is gone. I remember my Mom crying with happiness over it and I would have liked to have it back, but nobody in her family asked us if we wanted anything or told us they were planning on going through his stuff. His school ring, that he was so proud of, that I spent hours and hours out at the library with him while he studied to earn it. The times he was late or didn't make it to school functions because he had classes... yet I think my step-brother who didn't know him at that time got it. We had memories of these things, we had them as part of our childhood. None of them did. Nothing of big value, sentimental value that they wouldn't understand, but they just took or gave away. She was good to my Dad. I'm the first one to say "spend the money, go on vacation, see the world" because she was so good to him and took such good care of him. But, a chance to maybe get a token from him would have been appreciated.

Well your boyfriend wants to make sure his kids have plenty of drug money after he dies then. Great dad.

Dear Grace,

Reading your posts brings back all the stress I went through with adult SC when my husband died. It was awful. They were the image of entitled people. They got what they wanted: two properties. At least I have some money and they will never inherit a dime from me. They also turned my step grandkids against me. I have mostly been able to let go of this and this last year has been peaceful and has allowed me to pursue my own interests without interacting with them. Dare I ask, do you know the details of your husband's will or trust? That is very important.

Best of luck from an old hand.