You are here

Sick of this

Biblicalunicorn's picture

Submitted by Biblicalunicorn on Sun, 02/23/2020 - 7:50am

Forums: 
Adult Stepchildren

I am sick and tired of an almost 20 year old man my adult stepson living in the basement, working part time at minimum wage, piling up trash and food garbage, now driving his mother’s vehicle since I insisted he was cut off from ours after he wrecked it and the damage was never repaired or paid for. He comes up into the main part of the house and eats our food and leaves his dirty dishes for me and I have to make sure I’m always covered up in my own home because I never know when he will randomly appear in the house. He doesn’t like his bathroom in the basement so he comes upstairs to use ours and leaves a mess. He is using drugs and I had insisted his druggie, White trash girlfriend be banned from the house. DH has decided she can now come back and I am infuriated. I have said, enough with this. He needs to go get a one bedroom apartment if he wants to work fast food and get high and run with trash. This has caused DH to threaten to kick me out of the house and go crazy and yell and defend his loser son above everything. I pay half the bills here with my job and I have about 90% of the home keeping responsibilities and I’m tired of having no say about what goes on under my roof. DH actually calls and gets my parents involved in these fights and it’s embarrassing. I’m sick and tired of this. Sick and tired. I want out. 

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Sun, 02/23/2020 - 8:03am

Then get out. Your DH sounds like he's no prize, and he has no intention of making his son grow up. 

piegirl's picture

Submitted by piegirl on Sun, 02/23/2020 - 3:11pm

I can only agree with all the other posters - why are you still living in a house where you get no respect from your DH or his adult offspring? Time to put the foot down in a BIG way with some extreme and emergency marriage counselling or cut your losses and move on.

Good luck to you!

didn'tsignupforapunk's picture

Submitted by didn'tsignupforapunk on Mon, 02/24/2020 - 1:22am

You need to find out what your legal rights are as far as dh kicking you out, and also how to legally get skid arrested for vs what you can't. Set up hidden cameras to catch him doing crap if you need to. Make sure you hide food he likes and have the crappiest stuff available for him possible. Play irritating music from your teen years at obnoxious volumes when he decides to just show up. What do your parents say when he gets them ihnvolved? Tell dh this boy is old enough to buy his own diapers. Good luck and (((hugs)))

Nonet1's picture

Submitted by Nonet1 on Mon, 02/24/2020 - 3:04pm

Hi. I've been a stepmom for 10 years. My life for the past 10 years has been anything but easy. Those kids have put me through so much. They have lied about me and made people turn their backs on me. They have even gotten CPS involved in our lives for no good reason. Ever since day one they've only seen me as a threat of taking their dad away from them. Now they are 18 and 16 years old one boy and one girl. We just recently moved from one city to another. And we left the boy in the other city with his grandparents to finish off his senior year of high school. And the girl went to go live with her mom finally after 10 years of living with us. My dh has had custody of them for the past 14 years. I have been living with them for the past ten years. Well, when we moved to the new city I was relieved that they were not going to come with us. I was tired of their rudeness. Their dirty habits. And I was tired of they way that act at home. And I was tired of having to deal with their behavior at school. They were always in some kind of trouble at their school. But every since we got here they text and call constantly. There is always an issue. A couple of days ago the girl who is 16 years old got arrested at her school because she got caught with a vape pen that had weed in it. And my husbands first reaction is to bring her to live here at our new apartment. We live in a small one bedroom apartment with our two little kids. There is no room here for her. Me and my husband sleep in our living room on our couch. And he works all day long. We are poor and we can barely get by. She has it made at her moms house. She has her own room and a tv and her own bed. Her mom buys her shoes and clothes on a regular basis. She has her own pets there. Her moms house is big enough for her. And they have plenty of room. And her mom doesn't want her to leave her house. He has been trying to find any excuse to make her move back in with us since we got our own place to live. We were staying with a family member when we first got here and he insisted that she come and spend the night. Even though there was no where for her to sleep. He does the same thing with the boy. He brought him over here for a week and he took over my daughters bed and used her blankets. He literally took her blanket off of her while she was asleep. He says that I need to get a job so we can get a bigger apartment so that his daughter can move in with us after the summer time is over. But I don't want her around. I think that she will be a bad influence on my kids. They are still little. Her mom wants her at her house. I mean am I wrong for wanting them to stay where they live at? I did every thing for them for the past ten years. And all that they ever did was talk about me and make up lies about me. And trash my house. My kids never had a room.  Now they have their own room. I don't want them coming over here and just taking over. And their dad just lets them do it too. I am done with them.