SD22 At it AGAIN!! Moving Day.....
So pregnant SD22 has been living with her boyfriend and her boyfriend's parents since she left our home in early June. All her crap has been in our garage. She hasn't spoken to me since she left in early June. I told my DH that I did not want her to come here while we weren't here, when it came time for her to move her crap out of our garage because I didn't want her taking things that didn't belong to her.
So we went out of town yesterday and got home today. We had a great time yesterday, last night and today. Then we get home...........her boyfriend's parents bought them a house. They moved in this weekend. She came and got her crap while we were gone this weekend. She also helped herself to a dining table I had in the garage plus took 4 of our dining chairs (all of which were my Granny's chairs) with her -- without asking! I was PISSED!
I knew this was going to happen, and told my DH that I knew she would do something like this before it happened. He told me that she wouldn't do something like that .... "she's not like that." Um, duh! Hello? Are we talking about the same girl here??!! Hello!!
So he calls her up, and she says that she didn't think we would mind. He tells her that I've set it aside for my daughter. It IS my table and chairs to do with as I please. She says wife's daughter "doesn't even have a place yet. Why can't I just keep it??" She didn't think there was anything wrong with what she did. She said the only reason I was wanting to keep the table was because it was her (SD22) (which she is right!) Why in the hell would I want to give her ANYTHING??! She has been nothing but hostile, rude, mean, and crappy to me for years! Ungrateful little brat. I would rather BURN that table than see her have it.
So she tells my DH that if he wants it back he can come get it himself -- oh and while you're at it dear old dad, bring the rest of my stuff. What?!! Seriously!!?? Just even thinking about it gets me all pissy again!
And she wonders why I can't stand her!!! I can't stand her voice, her laugh, her face, not one thing about her. She is the one person in this world that could fall off it and I would not miss her one bit. I'd feel bad for my DH because it's his child --- but I really don't like her. My Mom always told me that we can't hate people.....so I have a strong dislike for her. ARRRRGGGG!
What a way to ruin a perfectly good last few days.....she is such a little .....
I think one of the other kids
I think one of the other kids was here -- possibly her sister or my daughter. I'm sure they didn't want to get in the middle of it. My husband has been there and back already. It took everything I had to not text her and tell her off, and let her have it via text. I'm glad I didn't.
He said that he actually had a nice visit when he got there. Just goes to show how bipolar she really is. One minute screaming on the phone --- hour later, totally fine and reasonable. Weird!
you're so right goforit!!
you're so right goforit!! After the initial phone call when he was talking to her and she was having a cow at having to "give it back" --- he was so sweetie nice to her I wanted to puke! No wonder she thinks its me and I'm the bad one! Now I'm even MORE pissed -- now I'm pissed off at HIM!G7
I'd get my DH's truck, back
I'd get my DH's truck, back it right up to the front door of their house, and take back what's mine, then take a few other things and tell her that I "didn't think she'd mind."
I don't blame you for being
I don't blame you for being angry but you most definitely want to get back the dining room table and chairs ASAP just incase they get damaged (she doesn't sound like a person who would look after other people's things - esp yours). I'd simply fill the vehicle with as much of her stuff as possible, go over and drop it off. If she's not willing to haul it out of the vehicle herself and into the trunk I'd just dump it right there in the driveway/parking area and then I'd load on my stuff (bring the table/chairs down BEFORE you unload the truck of her stuff). Before I left her I'd inform her I brought over as much stuff of hers as possible and the rest is up to her. I'd give her a timeline to pick it up and tell her if it isn't done by then it will be hauled away or sold because you are NOT a storage unit. Once all her stuff is gone it will be pointed out that there is no longer any need for her to be interrupting your lives all the time anymore and if she wants to visit she is to call ahead to make sure the two of you are available.
My DH went and got the chairs
My DH went and got the chairs and table back yesterday and he took her the rest of her crap. Now she has no reason to come here. All her stuff is gone. I've told my DH that if he EVER allows her to move back in, I'm gone, for real this time. No threats, just simply gone. I've got my savings account with enough money to get me out, and I'm out.
He's let her move in her one too many times and disrupt our lives one too many times, and the last time he even promised me he would not let her move in, and then lets her move in even after promising me repeatedly that he would not let her move in. So, just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Hopefully I won't ever be in that position again.
thanks stepdown.....when I
thanks stepdown.....when I first moved into my DHs house, and all my boxes were in the garage, the same SD went through all my boxes and began taking stuff and unpacking things before I was even ready! I remember going into the garage and seeing my boxes unpacked. I was pissed! I felt violated. I mean, what the heck!?? His kids really have no boundaries at all! My daughter does .... but his kids don't. Why is that? Why don't they ask before they take things? Why don't they ask before they use someone else's stuff? What is up with that? Don't get it....even his son (SS21) takes food from our house and takes it to his apartment so he doesn't have to go grocery shopping. Always pisses me off. What the heck!? I would never have thought of doing that to my parents when I was that age. EVER!
B/c No ONE TAUGHT them to ask
B/c No ONE TAUGHT them to ask and have manners! I would have thrown the biggest hissy you can think of! I wold also tell my dh that him being nice to her about this is the reason she hates me it is HIS fault for letting her do these things to me and he does nothing!
purple I tried to explain
purple I tried to explain that to him, but he didn't get it....so whatever. I'm hated...he's loved. I guess that's just the way it is and my lot in life. At least as far as his kids go. He said that the only reason he was nice to her was because he just didn't want to fight -- he said what good was it to continue to fight over the issue....said that when he told her that she couldn't keep the table and chairs, the issue was over. Well, it wasn't over. He still had to drive over there and pick it up because she refused to bring it back.
She doesn't have a key to the house, and we don't hide one outside anymore because of her, but the other kids let her in when they're home. Sigh. They just don't want to be in the middle and they don't want her mad at them either. Such is life.
then change the key
then change the key anyway-and dont give ANYONE a copy except you and dh. If they must have one for some reason, tell them they ARE. NOT. to let SD in. If they dont want her mad at them, they dont have to like it but it's YOUR house, and YOUR rules. Lay down the law. And let dh know that she is NOT welcome in your home.
So glad to hear she's out of
So glad to hear she's out of your lives as much as possible and that you got your stuff back. But, as we all know, you will never truly be liked, she may someday grow up to accept you, but she'll always hold some form of a grudge. People like her rarely turn their opinions around 180 degrees. That doesn't matter though, she's free to feel how she chooses about you and you can do the same with her. She's gone from your every day life now and things can move forward for you and your husband, what she does with hers is her choice and poor choices are her problem. If she calls up complaining about the consequences of a poor choice, you can certainly give her constructive advice, but make sure she (and her dad) understands that moving back into your home is not a solution. If he allows her back, then I doubt anyone would blame you for ending the relationship - you've done enough already.
Good luck with this new phase of your life and I hope things go well for all of you!
nodooormat - yes he did
nodooormat - yes he did apologize to me, but I was still fit to be tied! I was so angry I was shaking. Yah I couldn't believe she said that she didn't think we would mind! Seriously??!!
and on the nice visit thing, I asked him about that. He said he was only there 10 mins and he meant "nice" as far as she is concerned. He said that 15 min visits with her is about all he can tolerate of her. Now I don't know if he is saying that for my benefit or not.
But when I think about this and my kid was doing half of the crap that his kids have pulled on me, I wouldn't be as blase' about all this as he is!
We went to Vegas for four days and it was pure bliss to be away from his kids. Then I get home and I'm instantly angry. Oh well.
She'll be asking to come back
She'll be asking to come back to live with you pretty soon....only this time she'll have a baby with her.
trystme --if that ends up
trystme --if that ends up happening and DH lets her come back, I've got money saved up to move out. I won't be able to take it. I've already told him I will move out. She has been a nightmare since we got married.... and I'm seriously done. I don't think she'll every change. My thinking is is that she can go live with her mother and her mother's husband, or even her grandma. I've already told DH if he ever lets her come back, I'm out. And this time, I will go. I've already got several places to go to until I can get on my feet if it happens, and will not even hesitate. My health and emotional well being is worth more to me than staying and putting myself through hell again.
Boyfriend's parents probably
Boyfriend's parents probably bought them a house to get RID of them!
hippiegirl! lol!! I thought
hippiegirl! lol!! I thought the same thing!!! How else would they have gotten rid of them?!! haha!! I told my DH that SD22 could only hold off the crazy for only so long -- I've only seen her hold it in for 2 months and then "crazy" comes out! I'm sure that they've seen "crazy" by now! Hence the house to get them out!