Sd in labor...
Forums:
Dh got the text that sd is in labor with baby number 2. We've been disengaged since march. Im so sad. Keep reminding myself that with last baby, I spent weeks making a homemade quilt for the baby shower, which she didn't even open at the shower (bm was there) and didn't even acknowledge. We've received two pics via text, and one 3x5 picture. I know in my head that my involvement, by reaching out or sending stuff, won't be reciprocated, so why bother. But it still hurts my heart. I will get over it...I know this is a process...
You really have to accept
You really have to accept that this woman does not want a relationship with you. Now, if you have done something wrong apologise ask her to give you a second chance and pray things will be better. BUT, if you have done nothing wrong, stop beating yourself up because your sd turned out to be her mothers daughter. That is not your fault and you cannot change it.
Your husband understands, he supports you. One day your children will give you grandchildren. Your time will come, it's just not with sd.
Be thankful she has chosen this path and you and she have nothing to do with each other. Steps like this are more than capable of using their babies as weapons against their fathers. My husbands daughter upon giving birth to her first child told her father if he wanted to see it he'd have to leave me. That child is 21/2 he hasn't seen it. Did I do something to her. Yes I married her father, once we were married and started building a house daddy was no longer her ATM. She hates me for that, so much she has stopped her child from having a grandfather.
Let it go. The opinion of a woman like this about you doesn't matter really. As long as your husband and children love you, you have it all. Let sd get on with her life the way she wants to live it. As long as she is not interfering in your marriage, it's all okay.
Baby was born. She has downs.
Baby was born. She has downs. I'm so sad...despite our history...I hope she can rise to this occasion...I'm sure she has a ton on her plate, and I'm not one of them...she knows where I am...right?
Now I feel like a real bitch.
Now I feel like a real bitch. Husband insists it doesn't really change a thing. She's got so much on her plate, I'm probably not even close to a priority. I suppose she knows where I am, and I would be there of she needed me...anyone have words of advice here?!
Nothing except leave her
Nothing except leave her alone now. She needs time and space. You are right. You are from even on her list of priorities. Clearly if she wanted you they're she would ask. She has enough to deal with
Sambolina, just to add,
Sambolina, just to add, please feel no guilt. You did not create this situation. She has rejected you. This is not your sadness. Please let it go.
I know how you feel. Recently
I know how you feel. Recently disengaged from my adult SD. Long story, drugs changed her. She is now pregnant and due in January. Before her drug use and what she did to her father, I and her siblings for 4 long years, she was the sweetest girl ever and her and I were so close. She had always considered me her main mom. Anyways now that we don't see eye to eye (don't think its right she is jobless by choice and dealing drugs while being pregnant and with an abusive boyfriend who I cant stand) anyways she has disengaged herself also from her father and I and wish us to not ever be in the childs life. I get how you feel. It hurts but at the same time in my situation, her being out of my life is the best thing for now. she has caused way too much damage to me.
I get the pain you feel though, I feel the pain too. Take care and God bless.