Adverse possession: Land which is disused or neglected by an owner may be converted into another's property if continual use is made.

Just paying your property tax is enough interest in ones land to stop anything of this nature. If you hadn't paid the tax the county would likely possess it and sell it for back taxes long before adverse possession would come into effect.

Personally a threat like that earns them the enemy label until a very rigorous apology is given. Stay away and tell Daddy he's to do the same or face his wife's wrath. When he declines he should state the reasons why so at least she knows what she needs to do.

The neighbors are not going to think anyone is a bitch they're going to think there is a very big rift in the family and there is and it would have taken a lot for a parent to snub a daughter. No I think your neighbor will put the speculations right on your step daughters head where it belongs.

DH's socializing frequently at casual events with BM is out of line. Your DH wants it HIS way with no consideration for you. The fact that BM survived cancer should have no bearing on it at all. It sounds like he is trying to 'guilt' you out so you won't complain. I'll bet if you started socializing with your ex he'd have a fit. When you went to the counselor was this issue addressed? If I were in your shoes I would ask him if he wants his old family back. If he wants to remain married to you then act like it.

Oh yes. You go. Do it up. Look radiant. Take your DH's arm and be affectionate and attentive to his every word. The best way to get these toxic harpies to wilt is to beam your happiness brightly and show them that they are absolutely a non consideration in your life and their pathetic drama means nothing to you.

These toxic morons are like cockroaches that scurry for a dark corner when the lights are turned on in a roach filled room. You be the light. They will scurry.

If SD or BM makes a idiot comment just throw your head back, laugh brightly and say "Oh (SD/BM/etc) you are so funny. You make me laugh." then keep on beaming your happiness. Have a few appropriately bright but ass barring phrases ready to throw out if the toxic queens try to engage in a negative way beyond the first ass baring interplay. "Well bless your sweet little heart." is always one that my very proper southern bell mother, grandmother, aunt, etc... use with particularly good effect when someone at a family reunion is playing the idiot.

They will scurry for the dark corner.

Roaches always do. If they don't just smile as you crunch them under your nice stylish shoe.

Remember, be happy.

Ugh, this sounds like what my SD did last year. I got included on the 1st bday invitation of DHs grandson. Now, keep in mind I had not been allowed to be involved in his life up until this party, nor had she spoken a word or me during the whole year. She also invited her stepdad who she's hated with a passion off and on over the years. Found out recently that I was asked about at the party when I didn't attend. WTF? The step dad went and now he's at every event and the step kids are up his ass because SHE says so.

She has not apologized to me for the horrible way she's treated me and i will not allow it to be swept under the rug. That's what his family does...just eventually starts hanging out again and no one ever addresses the original problem. I told my DH I wasn't playing that game. Apologize or I'm done.

I highly suggest standing your ground. Your SD has no intention of apologizing either it sounds like. She's putting you into a social situation where your absence will be noticed, as mine did to me, however, you can't worry about what others will think. Chances are everyone knows how she is and would probably like to skip as well!

I don't understand your stance toward the BM. At these events my DH is with the BM. He doesn't want to see her but it's their kids and they're both going to be at certain events. Why are you so adamant about him not being at events with her?

I haven't been here a year (just a few months), so obviously I don't remember your posts. I'm sure there's much more there, but just from what you posted here I'm not *entirely* sure what you want SD to apologize for. Not for moving, I'm thinking. Was it something about "flying into a rage at you"? Some specific fight?

In any case, I'm a big proponent of "do what you're comfortable with". Clearly you're not comfortable going to the 4th of July thing, so there's no reason in the world you have to go. I suppose whether or not you make a fuss if your DH goes is another matter. On the one hand, that's his daughter and GK, and he has the right to see them. (You said he does, without you, which is fine.) And I'm a little iffy on allowing BM so much control that what she does affects what he does (ie, not going if she's there). On the other hand, as your DH, it's his responsibility to support you and if you're uncomfortable with him going then I feel he should respect that.

Is there no compromise to be made? Not you going, I absolutely don't think you should unless you want to - but maybe in letting him go for an hour or so?

I remember your posts. I'm glad to hear from you, although sorry that things haven't really changed.

My first thought was to question whether there really was an invitation from SD. Could it be DH just trying to play peacemaker/go-between?

She will never apologize. She has the view that you are to blame for her decisions and choices. She feels powerless in her life and does not understand that she is the one wreaking havoc.

I am surprised your DH wants to be around her so much. Seeing his gkid is an excuse, unless SD insists on supervising.

Maybe the SD is growing up and trying to mend things?
Regardless, I would buy a brand new outfit and proudly and boldly go.