Roses?
I think you guys remember me. I flew across the country to visit my daughter and ex's girlfriend felt abandoned so she had my ex reel my daughter in.....sitting with HER at the football game.
Ok. So a few weeks ago I flew my daughter home for Columbus Day weekend, also her 19th birthday. Weren't we surprised when fed ex pulled up and daughter got dozen roses of various colors. Guess who? Ex's girlfriend. I took pics and placed them in kitchen and even wrapped them up for my daughter to take back with her on the plane.
But jeez. It has been on my mind. I never get flowers for my daughter. I don't give extravagant gifts. Daughter is spending thanksgiving with my ex and this girlfriend. Quite frankly this person sounds like she is digging her hooks in and trying to push me away. I don't like conflict. Please don't say I am just a jealous mother. I really am not. I have welcomed this woman to all birthday dinners etc over the years. Daughter had her high school graduation party at ex's house and girlfriend planned it and I even brought the apps and desserts.
Any thoughts?
I don't know. I do have to
I don't know. I do have to say that I hear what she is doing to her own kids....all boys. My daughter has instances that indicate this girlfriend's ex husband is being alienated and how my ex and his gf call his new wife an ethnic slur in front of my daughter. What I know about her ex is that he is a good guy who was cheated on and he watches their kids as my ex and his gf travel the world. So this does cause me concern because clearly she is trying to alienate her own boys from their father.
Your daughter is now a grown
Your daughter is now a grown woman. Hopefully you raised her in such a way that she will not have her head turned just because someone buys expensive presents.
Have faith in the kind of person that your daughter is.
I don't know
I don't know heavenlike....you nailed it. She jumps most of the time for her father. Stupid me raised the kids to respect him, now I feel threatened by him and this creepy girlfriend.
But they are adults now. I have to say I was a bit hurt when my 21 year old son TEXTED me to say he wanted to have thanksgiving dinner with his girlfriend's family and come home for dessert. I know I know. But I haven't had thanksgiving dinner with him in several years due to sharing time with my ex. Divorce is a horrible thing. You lose so much time with your kids and it doesn't help them either. So many people to navigate. Maybe not such a strong sense of family?
I texted my son that we need to discuss this on the phone, but what can I say? Other than to say sure, we will miss you, so please come for dessert. I know my mother will be disappointed.
You nailed it, Stepaside.
You nailed it, Stepaside. We've all met people who come on too strong. They're the ones who self-appoint themselves to be leaders of organizations. They are really nice and generous in the beginning. They'll do anything for you. When you let them know you do not want to be controlled, they can get really nasty. The OP should sit back and get some popcorn ready.
Thank you Stepaside and
Thank you Stepaside and sandye. Interesting that she does not attach herself to my sons like she does with my daughter. My boys are in their 20's and not under the thumb of their father. They likely have not responded to her at all. And she has 3 boys of her own. No daughters.
So my daughter went to girlfriend's alma mater, declared her major same as the girlfriend and just this week says she is changing.
Her major, not college!
Her major, not college!
pffft let it go...... I can
pffft let it go...... I can tell you from experience... standing on the other side of the river...
blood is thicker then water Hon, let your daughter have her fun and stuff with SM.... stay out of it....
your daughter will always return to you... even if you had a real real bad fights, blood remains thicker then water...
and that's why I want nothing to do with my SD...
Maybe I'm wrong, but I read
Maybe I'm wrong, but I read "empty nest syndrome" here also. It is very emotional to wake up to a quiet house, after your children have grown up, into productive adults, and have their own lives.
All of what you have described seems to be just that. They are moving forward perfectly normal and will get a life and you will see them when they choose. This is hard to accept, but they are in control of their own lives now, and will come home and spend quality time with you, only if you don't put demands on them for anything.
It sounds like you have raised a fine family and have every reason to be proud. It will be ok. Get new things going in your life and always make time for them, when they have time. They are busy and will get busier.
This really has nothing to do with favoring one parent, or person, over you; it has nothing to do with gifts, etc. Just let it go and don't ask what gifts they receive, or where they have dinner. I understand and always take time to be there for them. Invite them for holidays and try to work with their choices. You will find out, they will be at your door step, when they have children, and want you to watch them, while they go out to dinner with their spouse. Lol.... Enjoy a new beginning.