Need your opinion
I know my DH needs to see his family and that will be his choice. His Sk's and DIl's always have BM with them. She is with them everywhere they go and stay at their houses as much as possible.They dont give a rip about how DH feelings and how he is beening treated.They want to see (sifficant other)to stay at home where she belongs.Thats what they call me now. When DH goes to visit them they will make sure Ex will be there and EX will be happy to see Im not with him. If my DH tells them he wants her not to be there they will say its our mom we couldnt hurt her that way.Then out will come the camera and they will have to have a family picture .if Dh tells them he wants a picture of him and Gk's they will snot and sniff(including the EX)and then put that picture in the next weekly paper for everyone to see and me for sure thats why they will do it.Some of their friends that shun me will be there to witness DH and EX visting so they can get the rumors started.I know how these people are and they dont care to hurt their dad or me (I am the target).I want to have ya'll attitude.I want a new mindset. I dont want to care what they say or do anymore.How long d oes it take to finally say I dont care? Oh yeah DIL's mother says I am getting what i deserve and I have to agree. I deserve not to be in a screwed up family like the one I use to be in.
Why go where you're not
Why go where you're not welcome? Listen you don't need the approval of these people. Their opinions and gossiping about you is irrelevent to your well being. Unless you make it otherwise.
Tell your husband you want him to go and enjoy his family but you don't want to hear about it when he gets back. Once you stop caring they'll stop trying to make you feel bad.
How long about 1/4 second because all it takes is a turn around of your mind to the realization that you got along fine without these people for most of your life and can do so for the rest of it.
Yes you hoped for a nice relationship with them and you had the right to grieve over that lost dream but that time is over now and its time to move on.
I know it is easy to blame
I know it is easy to blame your husband's ex and his kids, and I know you are angry because you belive they are not caring about your husband's feelings, however if your husband is being as hurt by this as you think he is, he would not go. He would tell his kids if your mother is going to be there I will not come, ring me when she is not going to be there and I will come and visit my grandchildren then.
Men are not as weak as they would have us believe, they (not all of them) but far too many of them just want their cake and eat it to. Seriously if your husband's kids said you cannot see your grandchildren unless BM is here to, well then he needs to get a backbone.
It is time you stopped worrying about how these kids are making DH feel, and start worrying about your own feelings and how DH is treating you. Once you see the real problem here, DH allowing all of this to go on, then you will have a chance to resolve it. You cannot change this if you are laying the blame for it all at the feet of his kids and none of it on him.
I am not advocating having an arguement with your husband, but a good hard look at this entire situation on your part is called for, then you and your husband may be able to sit down and work out some reasonable boundaries for SK's. You are second wife, NOT SECOND BEST.
Sounds like a den of vipers
Sounds like a den of vipers to me, unless you have real concerns that your Dh wants to be back with Bm, you are better off not being there, I can imagine them stirring a large cauldron, yes you could let this upset you, or you could choose to remain unaffected by them, ouch that would annoy them, it never fails to amaze me that an innocent person can be made out to be the Whore Of Babylon, I expect they never gave you a chance, are these the sort of people that you would like to be friendly with, I think not, let them bitch and moan and whine and whatever else, it is simply a waste of your time and energy to let them effect you.
Yall are the strongiest women
Yall are the strongiest women I have ever seen. The things you have been through. I know Im gonna be ok. Now I use to let things go never say anything but now I do see things different than the way I use to. I see the truth of how SK are and I will be good as gold until they start trouble with me. DH would never have a realationship with his Ex . He not worried about her like SK are. We will work this out and make our decisions about BM beening around and she wont be if I have a say and I do. Thanks for all of the comments. Yall are really sweet ladies.
Well, in my case, if SD
Well, in my case, if SD always had her mother with her (and how weird is that anyway), my husband would just flat out never see her. He cannot and does not want to be in the same room with BM.
I know that I am the best thing to happen to my husband so I could give a rats ass what anybody says. SD, the ex, DH's family, they all love drama and they can have it.
Your skids are being very disrespectful of you and your DH and neither of you should put up with it.
My stepkids make sure all
My stepkids make sure all family photos do NOT include me. They make sure BM is always at every event. Not a real problem for me because I get great joy out of seeing her act like an goof most of the time. Stepkids must not be aware I know all the dirty stories about this woman. She is such a source of entertainment to me. Hubby is pulling away from the drama more and more all the time. Whereas I once wanted to make sure all of the family was one cohesive unit, I have now realized my responsibility is to my husband and my bilogical children. If the stepkids want to continure beahing the way they have for the last 10 years, go ahead, we will continue to see them less and less. I would say we are winning... Costs me a whole lot less money when it comes to gifts and eating out. My Motto - cut off that which does not bring you joy....
And that Mindygirl1 is the
And that Mindygirl1 is the attitude that has taken some of us years to learn. Some of us, myself included, spend years trying to have the happy blended family, desperately trying to get the steps to like us so we could all be happy. It was never going to work. Taking your approach is the way to go. We needed to stop worrying about them liking us and start laughing at the drama they were causing themselves. However, I will say this, after 8 years of SD abuse I am now thankful for her hatred, I managed to turn it into a stepping stone to being a better, more confident, happier and healthier person. I am doing very well now, she however is apparently still steeped in hatred for me, a woman she has not set eyes on in 12 months.