Dh and I go to church most weekends. We sit in the same section and church is a great place to fantasize about the people you see every week. Dh and I often see a couple with several daughters. Our shared belief is that the oldest is the father's daughter only and that they share the much younger daughters. I did not go to church yesterday, but dh did. He shared that he had seen the couple, and his comment was that he was touched by what appears to be a close relationship bet step mother and step daughter. He added that he then thought of his own daughters, the ones who refused to attend our wedding and who have basically treated us like dog shit. I felt sad for him. Sad that this continues to grind on......essentially they are dead to him, yet he still pays child support for the youngest, a 21 year old EX. I have learned not to rehash all the events that led to where we are today. Dh mentioned that 5 years ago we were in Newport for the weekend, I did not mention that he could not bring himself to tell his then 16 year old that he was there........why? Because she had wanted to go there also. I did not discuss the numerous emails from ex wife at about same time chastising him for leaving daughter during the weekend visitations to date me. He never once wrote back, telling her it was creating the daughter they share now, an abusive, entitled emotional cripple.
And maybe someday I will actually start a conversation with the couple from church. We see them around town. But for now we keep our fantasy that steps can work out......