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It just isn't meant to be

88keys2happiness's picture

Submitted by 88keys2happiness on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 7:11am

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Adult Stepchildren

I have come to believe that people that have children should NOT get married. It is not going to work. It isn't meant to work. Is it logical to think that a child would be 'happy' that their parent is married to someone other than their mother/father? Is it logical to think that a step parent is going to love their steps as they love their own children. Is it realistic to think that a mother/father is going to put their new spouse ahead of their children? Is that fair? NO! In all honesty, I think it is a ridiculous idea to begin with; a pipe dream. And I am just about ready to give up.

Orange County Ca's picture

Submitted by Orange County Ca on Sun, 09/09/2012 - 12:09pm

I absolutely agree with you. There should be no such thing as a step parent. The over-riding reason is the kids. They can handle that their parents can't live together by they're still "together" when it comes to them (their children).

Parents can date on the sly even overnighters if you wish as long as the children are not onto it.

But children are not a priority in the western world. Part of it is the costs of support our government so that now its impossible, or nearly so, for a one income family to exist. So for financial reasons people pair up. Second is sharing of the work-load in the home which according to what I've read recently 40% of which is now done by the man. Up from 30/70 split a decade or so ago in all U.S. households.

So a whole new set of problems comes into play. Plus of course there are successful step-parent families. They just don't come here very often.

20YearsAsAStep-Mom's picture

Submitted by 20YearsAsAStep-Mom on Mon, 09/10/2012 - 5:51am

Adult children are much different than minor children. I bit my tongue many times when SD's were young. I tried to be fair and kind and support DH's decisions with his parenting even when I didn't necessarily agree. They were HIS kids - not mine! Now that they are adults (not just barely adults either), 36 yr and 29, I don't feel we have to put their wants first. They are grown adults - self sufficient and are just plain mean and selfish when they play the head games with their dad. They need to GROW UP!

I always thought that when they were grown and out of the house things would be better for DH and I. I was VERY wrong and could never have foreseen it or I would have left years ago.