I may not marry my Fiancé due to his Son.
First off I have read alot of the other parents forums on here. I feel as if I am at home here. My Fiancé and I have been together for a little over 3 yrs. He has a demanding job and he is gone a lot. This quickly left me in charge of his (at the time 4 yr old) son, as well as my own 4 year old daughter.
Right off the bat I realized this kid had no structure at all. He went to bed when he wanted, ate what he wanted when he wanted, never cleaned his room, talked back to all of his elders, no personal hygiene (brushing teeth or showers) were put in place. I quickly started to take things into my own hands. I cleaned out his room while he was at pre-k one day, he came home and threw a fit! He was pulling stuff out of the closet, screaming at everyone, he even peed himself. I was in shock. I'd never seen that behavior except for on TV. Mind you, my daughter has been An absolute breeze raising. She still gives me hardly any issues with exception of not listening on occasion.
Anyhow.. as time went on i thought things were gradually getting better but then he would have a few days of complete melt downs every week again. We eventually started therapy sessions. This got us no where. We started seeing a psychiatrist. . They gave him a few diff meds to try. He seemed to be a little more calm on these but he is still a complete brat! He is now 7, almost 8 and he still whines and cries at everything for attention. He poops and pees his pants at least 3 or 4 times a week and he don't even care that he does this!!
Yesterday he whined about 85% of the day, he didn't want to eat at O charleys so he whined and slid under the table and cried almost the whole time we were there. Then he cried bc he was bored. Later he cried bc he had reading homework to do. He will break his pencils lead repeatedly on purpose to try to get out of having to do anything... i finally snapped and left him at home with his dad.. my daughter and I took a 2 hour drive in the countryside listening to music so we could relax. Im sitting in the pick up line at school right now dreading the moment he gets in my car... help me
I think you already know the
I think you already know the answer. You and your daughter should leave for another peaceful drive and just not go back. How long do you need to hit your head against the brick wall before admitting you don't need that. Do what is best for your daughter's future.
Why are you raising this
Why are you raising this man's bratty son? Who took care of him before you came into the picture?
RUN! Take your daughter and
RUN! Take your daughter and get out. You are too good for this and it will only get worse. You might love this guy and hurt for a week or maybe two; but you have to have a better life than this.
Where is this kid's Mom?
Why isn't he raising his own
Why isn't he raising his own son? I get that it's nice to help out. I personally help out with my stepdaughter all the time... but that's because she's a normal child who's well-behaved.
Leave everything up to him from now on (if you really want to work this out... i personally would leave, but you probably don't want to)
Seriously... Picking the kid up, feeding him, bathing him, etc. should be entirely on dad. Not you. He'll find out real fast what crappy behaviour his son has when it's his problem.
Once you do this... pay special attention to how he does (or doesn't) work to change the kid's behaviour. If he realizes and makes an effort to better his child's behaviour, great. If not, leave.
And I would be nice and clear about WHY i'm no longer doing anything for his son. I'd tell his dad that I have no interest in dealing with a child who throws fits and poops himself.
I agree with the other
I agree with the other posters who say, "RUN!" Just wait until he's an adolescent and his hormones start playing with his brain. Someone could get hurt physically.
Run..and run fast!!
Run..and run fast!!
Four was a hard year for me
Four was a hard year for me and SS5now5 but I would tell you to run because your skid sounds like a nightmare and he isn't going to get any better. Just tell yourself, if this is how bad he is at 4 then can you imagine what kind of miserable life you'll be living when he's 13, 15, 16, or 19 and a failure to launch living in your extra bedroom keeping your DH and you from retiring?
"my daughter and I took a 2
"my daughter and I took a 2 hour drive in the countryside..."
Next time make sure your suitcases are in the car and keep going.
I still can't understand why
:jawdrop: I still can't understand why people allow a 4 year old to act this way, I dare any child to act this way in my house, they will stop that crap immediately......
You are full time carer for this child yet you do not discipline him? Why not.... if he pees himself he will wash it, over and done with..... I have my way to get him to do that, and if his father dares say anything about my ways, I will tell Daddy now I'm done take your brat and make sure he behaves.
I have this feeling that your fiance is only dating you to have a free nanny, Hon this is not a way of living, take your little girl and get out, 3 years wasted of your life, are you going to make that 30 years before you realize fiance does not love you?