How ironic
So dh pays his share of daughter's college tuition two weeks ago, on the last day it was due. No thank you, no nothing, and of course no bank statement from the 20 k that his parents had gifted her with this summer.
Turns out NEITHER daughter or his ex has paid a dime of their share! Hmmmmm..
So dh calls up both........ex says she will get around to it, and no response from daughter. However she called dh last night while we were eating dinner. She basically blasted him, saying that the only one who does anything for her is her mother. He is the lowest of the low and his parents are right up there! He asked her why the bill not paid? What happened to 20k for her education? She hung up..
I think the answer clear.......money blown by her mother. She has a great job, but she is totally narcissist and spends every dime she makes and then some.
I was struck by dh not saying anything to daughter to defend himself. He clearly has a problem expressing anger, he is very co dependent with ex and daughters.
However, he was so upset that he wrote a letter to daughter, which was quite good , saying that he doesn't deserve this treatment and if she wants no part of him, get herself emancipated. He was careful not say he is through, but rather to reflect back that she has been the one doing the rejecting.
I am already plotting getting her emancipated and doing the groundwork now. I am sure it will be a royal battle....she wants grad school and this state allows CS to continue!
So.......it is important to document all of this.
The irony though.........no payment from them. If this was a public college, she would be kicked out for nonpayment immediately. I get angry thinking that they took dh to court to go to private college instead of state and they are so arrogant with paying. They also rightly assumed dh would be honorable and pay his share!
Exactly stepaside. I have
Exactly stepaside. I have been researching legal stuff and she is doing great!! Keep it coming so the old witch sm can document this for court in about a year!!
But honestly I don't win here. Too much pain caused by them.. My wedding memories ruined by them.. Tons of money pissed away on lawyers. I do fear how much money it will take to unhook her.........as you said .....she is extremely damaged person who blames everything on her father.
"Your DH thinks his efforts
"Your DH thinks his efforts to call and keep in touch, are getting him some points with her. They aren't." This has proven to be the case with DH but sometimes it takes a while for the truth to sink it - they just don't want to see it.
When I first disengaged from SD, DH would call her up often. SD would not repond or return his calls. At first he made excuses for her, saying she didn't know our new number or was too busy with work to call back. He knew his 'princess' was not too pleased with me - that was a given. But when I used his phone to show him that SD could retrieve anyone's number who called her I think it started to sink in that SD was not only mad at me but mad at him also. I think it was you who brought up that men are different from women as far as holding on to the hope that things will change, and I agree. I have no idea what SD's intent in shunning 'Daddy' is - maybe she's watched too many soap operas, but it has clearly backfired on her. "Daddy" is learning to get on with his life and is happier without all of the conflict and drama.
I think a change in tactics
I think a change in tactics is in order. Of course DH will be honorable and pay his half. However, I would adopt the you pay your half then I will pay mine philosophy if for no other reason than to highlight the PAS crap that BM is playing.
That puts the onus on BM to step up and she is the one that gets the heat if the school starts sending threats. Of course DH can pay whenever he wishes but I would make sure a nasty gram goes to BM before I paid a penny if I were your DH. Then I would directly transfer my half to the school and request that a letter of receipt be sent to everyone (DH, BM, SD) showing he paid his half.
But, that is just me. }:)
Rags, that is sooo tempting,
Rags, that is sooo tempting, but would come back to bite dh! He would be seen as a deadbeat dad who does not pay, when that is far from the truth. At this point, I would love to see the little witch kicked out and working at some menial job, but that won't happen as long as dh is forced to pay. The only focus right now is getting ammunition and lay out the groundwork as to why this daughter should be emancipated once she grad college next year. She wants grad school and without a doubt will try to keep dh on the hook for as long as they can.
So, dh pays.....no games. I feel like I am his public relations person and all letters etc need to speak to the court, not really her. She could care less.....it is the court that will matter. So dh started his letter off by stating that she called to attack him and hung up.......
Sounds like BM and SD are
Sounds like BM and SD are cooking their own gooses. This is going to be a fun show to watch! }:)
Cmom..........the only thing
Cmom..........the only thing motivating me with regards to these scoundrels is getting us unhooked from them with the least amount of money possible. Thanks to me(lol)..........ex has an outstanding court order telling her she needs to pay off some 30k of oldest daughter's college loans. She never paid her share of debacle, as daughter failed every semester and ex just kept her there.
So...ex is petrified to go back to court because technically a judge could still order her to pay. Now also we have some evidence that ex has taken monies from 20 k bank acct from dh's parents to daughter specifically to be used for college. That money appears to be gone after only a few months, and they refuse to produce bank statement. Dh has honed in on this with ex such that she knows our game plan if they fight emancipation next year. It will all be laid out!!! It is terrible to have to do these things, I would much prefer to just pay money and ignore them, but without this pressure .......well the gravy train will go on.
Gosh keep us posted- I love
Gosh keep us posted- I love that they just blew the 20,000 and expect you to ignore that fact! :jawdrop: