So proud of DH. OSD recently celebrated another birthday. This is as she's given us the silent treatment. So he decided to acknowledge the big day with a nice card. I've disengaged since March, which was quite the feat for me, as a people pleaser and supreme fixer of all things broke, but I'd just had enough! So, on his own accord, he decided to go with a card. Frankly I'm surprised he did that because he's a typical man and usually has a hard time figuring out the postal system. he also texted, wished her a great day, asked how she's doing, etc. which, of course, she ignored. He told me last night he was so surprised she'd do that! "Really?" I said. "It seems like her standard operating procedure. Talked about the stepgrands. he said we arent anything to them, maybe a gift at christmas but bm trashed talked us to the sk's and now grandma will do it to the grands. and unfortunately sd is alot like bm. sad because ive known her since she was just a little thing and i had such a brady bunch oicture in my head for years. upnuntil recently, actually. This lead us to a more in depth conversation. He's just done walking on eggshells and is all about moving forward. The decree states that almost all of his life insurance was to go to the step kids. They are both emancipated now and I haven't wanted to seem like a bitch ordering him to have it changed, but I brought that up, sighting some horror stories I've read here about adult stepchildren acting like real jerks over stuff and money. And he said there was no way in hell anybody but me was going to get the flag when he does pass, (He's a 20+ year veteran) let alone get his money. he said we are going to go in next week and update our wills and just lay it out there, and stipulate our final wishes. He also said nobody is owed crap, you choose to participate, or not. And frankly, I have several young bio kids with him, if something were to happen I need the $ to raise them, and the steps are both adults. I'm just so glad he gets it!